Exhausted

I am.

Last night Collin and I decided to watch the new episode of Futurama at 10pm, typically not a problem since we generally don't get to bed until 10:30 or 11:00. This was not the case last night. I was just dead tired so I stretched out on the couch and proceeded to sleep through the whole episode. Next thing I know the TV is off and Collin is telling me it's time to go to bed... Like a zombie I shambled through the house, and I was out as soon as I crawled into bed.

I think it's work. I have just become so burnt out here. I am taking some vacation time next month. If I can swing it with the bosses I am going to take the week of our anniversary off. Then I would still have another three days I can maybe use in September.... We'll see.

Today, I am working with the new person we hired. The bosses want to figure out what the obstacle is that is preventing him from getting some money in. I think he just needs more time to get comfortable, they are more for the instant gratification when we hire a new collector. It's frustrating and excruciatingly boring for me to have to sit here and listen in on his calls.... I am not fan of this.

I hate to critique someone and put pressure on them in too negative a way because it can lead them to questioning their abilities, and I don't want that. What I don't mind doing is giving positive feedback, and sharing the tips and tricks I have learned for dealing with people when you're in this industry.

Collin is spending the day out at his parent's. His mom's medical issues are getting worse and she is not trying to take care of herself. (NOTE: as I was typing this Collin called me at work regarding this exact thing, we'll get into that in a moment...) She has had several instances in the last year where she has essentially died, and Mike (my father in law) has found her as such when he's come home from work. Obviously this is really REALLY not good. The ambulance/paramedics generally have to come out to the house almost every week to help revive her or restabilize her blood sugar. I don't think there has been one month out of the last twelve that she did not end up needing paramedics or a trip to the hospital. She keeps mixing up or overtaking her meds, she likes to blame her doctors for everything, she doesn't eat a healthy diet (and her diet is exceptionally UNhealthy for a diabetic!), some times she doesn't even eat at all, and, honestly, I think she wants to die.

Let's give you all a timeline here for the last couple days....

Wednesday: Collin started calling his parents house while he was on his way out there to give them our "car payment," she wasn't answering. Finally, when he was about a mile from their house she answered and sounded extremely groggy and woozy. When he got there he checked her blood sugar (another thing she should be doing but doesn't) and it was extremely low. After a couple hours he was able to get it somewhat leveled out and stable and came home. He let his dad know about the incident when his dad happened to call the house (he too had been trying to reach her). Oh, and did I mention, apparently the reason she wasn't answering the phone was because she passed out while trying to get some food out of the fridge. Collin found that out when one of the dogs was trying to get at the food in the fridge (it was still open).

Thursday: Collin's aunt Carol spent from 10:00am until about 3-3:30pm with her and made sure that she ate and that her blood sugar was okay. Dad got home from work about an hour and a half to two hours after Carol left, and mom was crashing. Dad called the house last night (something he never does unless something is going on) and talked to Collin for about twenty minutes. We are supposed to get together with him, aunt Carol, and Misty on Sunday out in Silverton to discuss mom, her issues, and what needs to be done for her care. Collin also agreed to go out to their house again today and keep an eye on mom until a little bit before dad gets home.

Today: Collin arrived at their house this morning at 10:00am. When he walked in he found his mom passed out and basically not moving... At all. When he touched her her skin was cold and clammy, and I can only imagine that his heart dropped to his feet. He felt for a pulse, and thankfully found one. He checked her blood sugar and it was registering 25 on her meter. He tried to wake her up to give her some glucose but she was unresponsive and wouldn't open her mouth, so he had no choice but to call 911. When the paramedics arrived they tested her blood sugar and it registered a 3... One of the paramedics had apparently been there two or three times already this week and had informed mom and dad if he had to come out again he would take mom to the hospital. And so he did. Collin called me at work while I was typing the first part of this post and then had to then call his dad at work and let him know what had happened and that mom was being taken to the hospital. Dad was so upset with mom. Essentially she couldn't even be left alone for two hours.

At this point the only next step in taking care of her is to get a daytime nurse for when dad is at work, or to put her in a home. She is only 58, she'll be 59 on the 31st. Dad can't do it alone, and as heartless as this may sound, it shouldn't be Collin's responsibility to take care of her, I won't let it be. He needs to get a job, and he does not have the training to take care of his mom with how advanced her medical issues have become. It's not just her diabetes, but also her dementia which seems to have accelerated.

So yes, Alicia is insanely tired and she is ready to go home and have the weekend off. But first she needs to make it through three more hours of work...

sigh

If there's typos I'm sorry, deal with it. You meant what I knew.

Well, Sweet Jesus It's Been Almost A Month

Criminy... Time has just been slipping through my fingers like sand through a sieve....

I can't believe we are halfway through July already...

Work has been busy, home has been busy, I guess that might have something to do with the fact that life in general is just one busy mess...

I think I will probably start posting more again since I have my partner in crime back on the weekends now... God knows the crazy capers we get into. Our discussions are of the things that get people committed to the state hospital.

Last night we discussed how someday we would like to own a vacation home at the coast, but we would not want it right on the beach because of storms and tsunami potential. An ocean view would be nice. Then Collin made the comment that he would want a fence topped with razor wire around the front, and I agreed. Turns out we both had entirely different reasons for liking the fence idea. He figured it would be good to keep people from running through our property in the event of a tsunami. I thought it would be great to have to ward off an army of zombies that would come up out of the ocean from China. Both are rather practical uses for the fence I think...

Collin's last day at work was last Friday, the 9th. We made a deal, because I don't want to stress about it, or nag him about it (and because I am superstitious and don't want to jinx anything), I am not going to ask the who, what, when, where stuff about his job hunting. All I ask of him is that he tells me if he has an interview (I don't want to know where or even if it's a first or second interview). Also, when he does land another job (which I know he will because he is awesome) I requested he send me flowers at work, and on the card I want it to say the company, the location, the wage, and the hours. Basically until I get the flowers, I am letting it go and trusting in my husband.

That may sound slightly crazy to some, but I have to do it this way. In the last couple months I have really finally started to get my psoraiasis to calm down, and my skin is clearing up beautifully. I don't want it to ever get as bad as it has been the last eighteen months; not only does it make me feel gross and ugly, but the pain and itching is unbearable. I think I have found a balance that will keep it at bay from now on, I just need to make sure I manage my stress properly.

Today is slated to be another gorgeous summer day, a little toasty but I'll take it considering how long it took for summer to finally get here. (And also considering how quickly it will be Fall/Winter again) It has most certainly been an odd weather year, but this is Oregon and that's just how we roll. I just wish I wasn't working today so that I could actually enjoy the weather. Oh well...

*yawn* (wow I really am tired I almost typed yam there...) I guess I should get back to toiling away at work... I wish Renee was here, but she's gone until Wednesday (it's Thursday for those of you on drugs). She is (well she will be) in Fresno because her hubby's mom passed on Tuesday. Sucky.