Chocolate apple juice

I was in the kitchen stirring stuff in a glass...
Collin: chocolate milk?
Me: no...
C: what then?
Me: chocolate apple juice...
C: ....

That just happened.

What's The Filet To Carcass Ratio

This was a serious question my boss had to ask the CEO today... Yea, that's why my job is AWESOME. I seriously love it. We curse ourselves constantly. Criss and I that is. Back in May she told me that we would use the typically slow summer months to get me cross-trained to be back up on international and lab orders.... For the most part we have been successful in getting me cross-trained, but it has never once slowed down. This is good for work obviously.

Friday afternoon managed to be pretty dead and my monitor was dying like the matrix was caving in on itself, so we decided to FINALLY do the great monitor swap... I say finally because we have had the new monitor for Criss since I started. I got her flat screen and she got the newish one that had been waiting. During the swap we decided to take advantage of the opportunity and totally clean and rearrange our desks. My desk looks awesome now.

Monday was fairly calm as well, and that was when we shot ourselves in the collective foot. Criss mentioned that maybe (like the weather) we were finally hitting the summer period and slowing down. WRONG. We have been pretty freaking busy since then.

Now to get to the fun, juicy, personal stuff. I will kind of be working backwards from most recent to around the last posting.

Tuesday I had my first root canal. It was just so wonderful I got to have it split into two appointments (part deux is on the first... Yay...). It really wasn't too bad. The endodontist my dentist referred me to is amazing. He also (after the initial consult and me telling him my dental visit anxiety was about a six on a one to ten scale) gave me a nice little .25 milligram pill by the name of Triazolam to take an hour and a half before the appointment. I honestly had more anxiety about taking the pill than the appointment because I have never taken any prescription drugs of this nature (it's an awesome little sedative; google it). I honestly only remember bits and pieces of the rest of the day, here's the highlight reel:
While waiting at the dentist's office I really wanted to lay on the love seat in the waiting room and my argument to Collin was that if they didn't want me to lay on it they wouldn't have it there.
Collin flipped someone off on the way home.
Once home (around six something) I decided I wasn't tired and for some reason ended up on Food Network watching Iron Chef America.
I woke up at 7:30pm and ended up going to bed... I don't remember getting upstairs or anything...
Collin apparently tried (futilely) to wake me and see if I would eat something since I hadn't eaten a meal since breakfast at 5:45am and had only had a couple small snack at work.
Next I knew my alarm was going off and I had to get up for work.

Yeah, all that on a Tuesday to boot, and we all know how much I freaking HATE Tuesdays.

The 21st we celebrated our sixth anniversary; Collin gave me a new frying pan and candy (sticking close to traditional gifts, which has been our thing).

Last Saturday we walked eight miles. Awesome.

On the 16th my beautifully awesome older sister hit the big THREE OH (30 for those of you who went to Taft). I went and saw her a few days prior at work. I surprised her with flowers and balloons, including one that said over the hill... They didn't have any turning thirty balloons.

During that weekend (which was a four day weekend because we both took Thursday and Friday off) K also came to see me finally! It was great. I wish she lived closer (but soon enough, all things in due time)! We also went to IKEA and got a nice cabinet for our booze and the printer.

Let's see what else.

We got our big kid phones (aka "smart" phones) a couple weeks ago. Collin got the Droid X2 and I got my Samsung Charge (which I totally heart). We also learned that through Collin's work we get an uber discount on his phone line (which is the primary).

We rearranged the living room.

I am thinking I am going to start posting on here the random dreams I have been having lately, along with the random awesomeness that Criss and I conjure at work.. We are insane geniuses. I noticed while at the copier today that I need to give the truck a bath. I learned today that Meth Spirits are not what you think. It's actually a form of ethanol with additives that make it poisonous so people won't be inclined to drink it. And in New Zealand they use it to prep animals for sterile procedures. Yea, I learn cool shit like that at work.

I am sure there is more, and I hope there will be more but now I would like to watch an episode of Mad Men before bed.

Peace out bitches, and welcome back to my insanity.

If I Had A Taco Salad

What a weekend; mostly good with just a slight overshadowing.

 

Saturday the group met for the “Magic Mile” in which the runners see how fast their mile is. While they tortured themselves we walked two and a quarter miles around the track (nine laps). I can’t wait to get to the point where we are in good enough shape to run, but I don’t necessarily envy them on Magic Mile days… At this point we are pretty sure we are going to do the Mt. Angel Oktoberfest 5k as our first “race” (I use the quotes because we will be walking it…). I am excited.

 

After the wickety walk we cleaned ourselves up, had a delicious scramble made with the left over BBQ fajita mixture, and then went to see Grams (Collin’s grandma). She is doing amazing. We almost made it out of there without her asking about the Camry (which used to be her car) but alas, she asked and we had to tell her. I think she was pleased that we donated it to a good cause. From Grams’ nursing home in Canby we made the dreaded drive down to the Tron (aka Silverton).

 

When we arrived, for some unknown reason, mom was wandering around outside near the road like she was looking for something. I thought one of the dogs had got out or something. She was happy to see us. We gave her a birthday card and flowers. The three of us walked into the house (I am not even going to go into the state of the house or the yard; all I will say is it was shocking and depressing). Mike was “asleep” in the living room. As mom walked in she announced that we brought her Mother’s Day flowers… Yea, it was kind of painful but nothing new. We are aware that her memory is steadily deteriorating. Mike didn’t even acknowledge our presence and given the lateness in the day we are confident he was not necessarily sober. It was frustrating for me; I know it was even more difficult for Collin. After some uncomfortable and awkward small talk we left.

 

We had a great lunch at one of our favorite places and then moseyed back this way. There were some other minor events on the car ride home but none of them were note worthy.

 

Sunday was spent doing chores and cleaning. It was nice though. I always love the zen-esque serenity that comes over me after cleaning. I made an amazing lemon herb chicken in foil packets on the grill and steamed a nice herbed veggie mix in these wicked awesome Ziploc steamer bags. Oh, and I also managed to slice my left index finger while slicing the lemon… Yeah that hurt. It seems fine today and I don’t think it was quite as deep as I first thought. After dinner we watched Sucker Punch; which I must say is a very interesting and vibrant movie. I would love to own it on Blu-ray and have a 70” Quattron TV to watch it on. The graphics are just so artfully explosive.

 

The one thing that soured the day for me was the night. I was content and happily exhausted (take from that what you will) and was ready to slip into the blissful black coma of sleep but I never quite made it over the edge. In turn, I feel like I didn’t hardly sleep at all, and I was plagued with constantly waking up. So frustrating.

Today, for being a Monday, was a pretty good day. We are going for our walk after dinner. I need/want/crave it. I am sadly no longer "under the radar" at work it seems... The owner was talking to me today... About his concern with regards to my weight. I know, I know, most people are screaming, "Inappropriate!" But seriously, the dude is a million years old and he truly does care about his employees. It was hard not to laugh though when he started asking about the "when" I put on the weight... I know he was trying to psycho-analyze me, it was adorable. What was even better was his reaction to the fact I walk two to three miles a night on the weeknights and five miles on Saturdays. I really don't care if he believes it or not. Considering the type of people I have worked for in the past, his attitude towards his employees (for the most part) is refreshing and completely opposite from my previous job. Some of his tips are bound to be helpful, but I will pick and choose which pieces I will use. Again, he is 85 and still kicking ass and taking names so he must be doing something right. It was adorable when he admitted that he eats ice cream TWICE a day. His biggest thing is a mostly to completely gluten free diet.

I hope Collin gets back soon. I iz hungry for dinner (chicken salad wraps and green salad).  It doesn't help that I am watching Food Network... Not a good way to curb the hunger pains... 

I need to go wash my face. 

Random statement right?  Probably thinking something bad right? WRONG! I don't like keeping my make up (==eyeliner) on after work. 

Hell yes add booze to that coffee and ice cream.... Mmmm, this is so wrong... Booze soaked pound cake with almonds and ice cream. Okay, I think she has a problem, she has a charge account at the liquor store... 

FACE!