Walk Along With Me A While, Or Don't....

One of the many things in life I have come to realize is that one cannot control the decisions of others. Though a person has the ability to influence another, they cannot truly control a person's decision to do or not do something. 

A realization made more recently; I DO NOT have to be ruled by another person's decision. I am sorry if you don't like your situation; make the decision to change it. It is in no way my responsibility or obligation to change everything I am working towards to accommodate what you decide you are going to do. I am of my own mind and body, and possess the free will to do or not do what is best for me and my own.

 

I am on my own path and though, it does have a tendency to intersect other pathes I am not obliged to walk the same path unless I want to.

Now that we are done with the enlightenment  part of this post...

In other saddening news, after speaking to legal counsel we find ourselves adrift in a sea of shitty circumstances. Things will not be proceeding as we had hoped. Our only recourse is to try and recoup the monies we spent on the endeavor. I feel like I went through the five stages of grief over the last few days; only that all stages were filled with this underlying anger and malevolent energy. I would rather have my dog back than any sum of money, but such is life. All I know for certain is that we will no longer have any ties to that person.  

Sleep has been an elusive and difficult task the past few days. Last night was the best so far. I am hoping tonight is better still. 

Tomorrow we will be doing our Magic Mile time trials, my second and Collin's first. I am hoping for a time around fourteen minutes, but will be happy just beating my previous time of fifteen minutes and forty eight seconds. After, we will be headed to the coast to visit my family and get a much needed K fix. I also want to swing by the Nike store at the outlet mall... I want to check out ALL my options before I get my next pair of running shoes. We plan to get new shoes in March so they will be well broken in and comfy by the time the half marathon rolls around. 

Since everything that happened Sunday afternoon, I find I have a hard time sitting still. I keep cleaning and tidying things up. Last night we put all of her things into storage in the Nerd Domicile and that turned into me doing a quick reorganization of the closets. I hate this feeling. Hopefully tomorrow will help. 

I am going to go work on some of my programming stuff now.

I love you Skyeber and I pray you are being taken care of the way you deserve; my beautiful, loyal, freakishly intelligent, extra-toothed, goofball of a puppy.

<3

Let It Enfold You

Due to the potential for pending legal action the following post will be rather clean. For those of you who know me; I am confident you can guess the thoughts going through my head...

This weekend was an exceptional weekend; mostly. I had a fantastic girls day on Saturday with some awesome ladies from work. We saw Haywire (awesome kickass movie! I wanna kick butt like the main character!), and meandered around the mall looking for this "floor thing" that was like an interactive touch screen thing one of our posse had seen before... We never found it (if you know what I am talking about leave a comment). After nomming on some Ben & Jerry's we went to Fubon (the Asian market on 82nd) and then headed back to the west side where we belong. After I got home I learned on facebook (as one typically learns things these days) that another of my superstar coworkers had lost his father.

Today, Collin and I took care of our normal chores first thing and then made our way to Salem to see my ever lovely niece. I also decided to stop by my old office and see what there was to see. One of the owners happened to be there so we stopped to chat for a bit. I was grateful to hear that they had avoided any flood damage. The neighborhood had come together and sandbagged all the way around the block; creating a great wall of Salem if you would. We then drove by one of our favorite parks, Minto-Brown Island, to find it completely immersed in the muddy waters of the Willamette. It was quite chilling, actually, to see the park we biked and walked so often so engulfed. We turned around and headed to the mall where I made a mind boggling and rather satisfying discovery. I have been in desperate need of new jeans; most of the ones I currently possess are WAY too big or they just don't fit right anymore. After going a size below what I have been wearing for so very long and the pants still fitting a wee bit too loose, I tried a pair that was TWO sizes smaller than my "norm." (This still shocks me...) THEY FIT PERFECTLY! Completely and utterly mind boggling awesome. I was on cloud nine. I could live in these jeans, so I got two pairs (they were also having a BOGO 50% off sale on denim!) in slightly different dark washes. After leaving the mall full of euphoria we opted to go get lunch at Wankers in Wilsonville (nice little joint if you ever get the chance), stopped at Freddie's and then went home. The next events are where things get dicey and complicated. At the moment until the matter is settled all I can say is this:

A person whom I will never associate my self with again took from me someone I love like a child. We intend to pursue whatever means the law allows to bring her back where she belongs. My heart is broken; as it is missing a piece. Even as I sit here typing this, eyes that I thought were completely sucked dry of all moisture are blurring with tears. It's all so messed up right now. I hope and pray that we can reverse this... I am trying to have faith. I do not know how to accommodate the negativity I have since felt since 4:30 this afternoon.

I need to attempt going to bed now. Sleep. I pray for sleep. I still need to go to work tomorrow. I have vacation time, but depending on how things work out I may need that time for other appointments. I can do this. I can compartmentalize. I will.

The title by the way is one of my favorite songs by Senses Fail. I tend to gravitate towards their music when I am feeling any frustration. Check it out.

Snorkle and Flippers FTW?

The weather this last week has been insane. From freezing temps, to snow, to hurricane force winds on the coast, and now to the massive flooding. It is most certainly winter in this fabulous state.

Wednesday morning was fun. Woke up to a misleading blanket of white. Went to take the dog out and found that is was more the consistency of a slushie. Made it seem like we were walking through an inch of standing water. Poor Skye was not impressed. By the time work was done all traces of the white stuff were gone and thankfully it wasn't raining at that point. It was actually perfect weather for a nice run. Cloudy, fifty degrees and a slight breeze... Okay it was rather gusty at some points, but tolerable.

In the last twelve to twenty four hours the timid and tiny creek that runs behind our place has swollen to the size of a small river. Watching the news tonight and seeing all the flooding in the central valley was heart breaking. Especially when they were showing live footage of Mill Creek, which is less than a block from my old office in Salem. The waters hadn't reached the building yet and I saw my old boss in the background with a ton of people who were frantically sand bagging. As much as I loathed working there (especially near the end) those people will always have a special place in my heart, and the sights of what they are dealing with made me cry.


On a lighter note, here are some random thoughts from work yesterday:


There are several pieces of equipment at my work that I repeatedly fantasize about going all Office Space on. You know what I mean? Like our credit card receipt printer that I wholey believed to be possessed by some moody sullen teenager, and Herman (my stapler) has problems stapling just two pages together sometimes. It's quite discouraging and really puts a cramp in the work flow when I have to smack him around and figure out WHY he doesn't want to staple the paper in a particular spot.

I am suddenly craving cinnamon rolls. I think I will have to make some hot chocolate. How this will help? I do not know but maybe it will suffice for the time being. This was from yesterday morning; reading it again now rekindled the craving for cinnamon rolls. DAMN CINNAMON ROLLS!!!

Now back to the present:

I am cold and not cold at the same time... Weird. 

I should probably put on my slippers. That would most certainly help since it is mostly my feet sending the "cold" signals. 

Saturday is looking to be an awesome day. It should be starting off dark and early (it is still winter here after all) with a nice four mile run. Then home for showers and breakfast before I will be adventuring out with some of the lovely ladies I work with. It's looking like it will be a day of ice cream, a movie, and hopefully some light retail therapy. Ooooo, I have that ten dollar off coupon for my birthday... >:-) Yay! While I am off adventuring Collin will be at home studying his pea picking heart out. 

Sunday will be an up in the air sort of day of chores and doing anything else we want/need to do.

I am thinking this will be about it for this post. I want to see if I can convince him to wrap up the studying so I can watch another episode of the Tudors before the new episode of our show starts at nine. Wish me luck!

Ah! I had a cat looming over my shoulder. That was weird. It's like she is reading what I am writing...

Don't tell her I said this butsjebg;uoSKJDFNBBVBj vdjnb.skjebg;v 


Oh my god, there is blood everywhere! She just attacked me and mashed my face into the keyboard!!! 


Okay... That might be a fib. But you never know, it could have happened. She is a crazy one.


I have no idea what the hell we are listening to right now but it is starting to freak me out. I'm going to find my slippers.


Stir fry with soybeans!

Dabbling In Visual Basic

I truly think I will quite enjoy playing around with programming. Maybe enough to make a go of it career-wise. It is still early on, but we shall see. The only problem I am having as I learn it is the overtly complex applications I want to create but (quite obviously) don't possess the skill set to make something so intricate... Yet!

Patience. Isn't that what learning is all about? Being patient as you begin to absorb and take in new things? I am most certainly trying for it. When I start making my own little widgets maybe I will find a way to publish them on here for all my blessed minions to play with.

I have had all sorts of crazy thoughts flying through my head the past couple days that I was like, "I must share these!!!" And now I can't quite remember them... I really need to start taking advantage of the voice recorder on my phone for when I have those moments... Or email them to myself... Or something. I feel like I am cheating you all out of some juicy nuggets of insanity. The biggest problem with using the recorder would be if I was in a place where voicing such insanities would get me in trouble... Like at the store, or just about any where in public.

I thought there for a moment Spaz was going to contribute some furry words of wisdom to this post, but then she decided the dining table wasn't so awesome and walked away... I have to pee.

Okay, I feel better. I put on my slippers and a sweatshirt. Everyone deserves cookies for no reason. That is why I just gave Skye one of her "cheesy" cookies just for being cute.

I truly hate it when a song I like ends up being on a movie soundtrack. I am always... OMG I love this song! I haven't heard it in ages! Coheed and Cambria's "A Favor House Atlantic."

Argh! I need to go down to the nerd domicile and pick out a new book to read... I guess I could tote my Fluent VB book to work, but it's the type of book that I believe would entice conversation, and I prefer to be in my bubble of solitude at lunch... Crap.

I can't wait until Collin and I are able to start traveling more. There are so many places I want to visit and maybe even live for a time. If we both find our ideal career paths and they allow us that freedom I know we will take full advantage of it. For the time being I would just settle for a vacation/road trip.

This has been enough of a break. I am going to do my chapter review and then snag a new book from downstairs. I just don't know what I am in the mood to read... Something simple and light I think.

Until next time! Oh and what a next time it will be.... (said laden with innuendo and double entendres) Ha! I'm five shades of awesome.

We Run At Dusk!

Well, on the work nights we do... Tomorrow we run shortly after the sun comes up... Looking forward to a frigid three and a half miles in Lake Oswego. Yea...

Does anyone ever have the sudden urge to dance? I do, all the time... One of these days I fear I won't be able to control it and I will be in public when it happens. When it overcomes me at home I just let it happen, but in stores and what not I resist. Fair warning; should you ever see a story on Fox12 News about a woman dancing randomly in a store or while walking down the street it may be me. The reason it would be on Fox12 is because they are the only news people I would allow to air my story, because I like them. I can only hope that when it happens there is actual music playing... If it's just set off by the music in my head then I'm screwed.

It's official, Collin and I are truly insane. We have registered for our first half marathon. Yep, our fat asses plan to run-walk-run 13.1 miles in May. It's going to ROCK!! Quite literally. We are registered to do the Rock 'n' Roll Portland Half Marathon. As time progresses I will probably talk more and more about it and the training schedule we are now on as we catapult ourselves into awesomeness!

I believe that since I was born on a Thursday I am indecisive. Or at least this is the root cause of it. (K you were born on a Thursday too! I checked!) The point of this story is that I have yet to decide what to do with my life in terms of a life long career. I could always rely on one of my strengths but there is a limited market for snarky comments and smart ass remarks. Then again there is also my strong math skills, and the artistic talent is always there for use. After some suggestions and encouragement from a few extremely trusted and important people in my life I am considering trying out programming and similarly creative/interesting fields. I picked up an interesting little book (okay, little would be an immense understatement, but oh well.) at Powell's that I am picking my way through. Thus far it is all making sense and it seems to be a fantastic outlet for my obsessive compulsive tendencies. Plus I have a ton of random ideas for weird little programs that would make my control freak life somewhat easier. They will be my pet projects as I learn more and more.

My butt hurts. Well my tailbone to be specific. That's the sucky part about sitting on the goddamn couch and using my awesome lap desk. Logic would dictate that if it is uncomfortable I should sit at the dining table or use my desk down in the nerd domicile, but hey, no one else on this water covered rock likes to use rational logic or common sense. Okay, there are some out there, like anyone smart and cool enough to be reading my awesome words of wisdom, but truly there are too many idiots and not enough Darwin Awards.

Well, it's about that time when the puppy (I know she's not really a puppy; she's going to be eight in April) needs to go out one last time, the demon beast needs to be removed from the living room, and I need to drag my ass upstairs to bed. I hope Collin is about at a stopping point for the night. And he is.

Peace out to all ye faithful.

Track On Back

I am surrounded by warm fuzzy things...

Truly, I am. Skye is laying on the couch next to me, and Spaz is laying on the pillow on the end table (correction, her throne) at my feet.

This past weekend Collin and I did our weigh in. Thankfully we managed not to gain anything over the holidays, but the downside was we didn't lose any lbs. I know I have lost some inches; everything is getting to be baggy. I know that though the scale doesn't show it I am getting rid of the bad weight. I realized that we had kind of fell off the wagon where food is concerned. We had started to allow ourselves to eat fast food, and a bunch of other junky stuff.

The scale was a wake up call, and it magically coincided with our monthly dinner planning. We discussed that we needed to get back on track with our (I hate this word, but there isn't much else to describe it with) diet (and yes imagine me saying that with as much disdain as possible...) and had fun planning some great protein and veggie rich meals. Some will be completely experimental and I will try to share them on here, even if it is just a photo and a quick blurb from the phone.

We both tried a week using this FANTASTIC app on our phones called MyFitnessPal. It is a calorie and activity tracker that you can use to set goals for yourself. It is a great tool. But sadly it doesn't work with my OCD personality or my weird rationalizing brain. I caught myself making poor food choices because "I had the calorie allowance" to have whatever it was... Not good. So, while I could be staying within my calorie goal I would ingest some completely unhealthy fatty and sugary foods. The app does track all the nutrients but the main point is the calories. As for the clash with my personality issues this would be something I would have to do for the rest of my life and I really don't need to add another obsessive impulse to my repertoire.

Hey, one of my fuzzy things left... I need to feed them soon. I have dinner going on high in the crock pot... This is one of those experimental things... I was supposed to just make chicken and veggie soup... I added some corn, bell pepper, and black beans along with a merry myriad of spices (and some heat) to give it a little more of a southwest flare.

Taco Salad!

Ooooo, I have avocado...

Resurrecting the Lost

Even if I wanted to I couldn't sum up the last few months in one post.

I can tell you that I am happily heading into a healthier and happier new year. I am sure the rough seas are not completely behind us, but c'est la vie!

I refuse to make any promises or "resolutions" to post on here more frequently. That always seems to be a death sentence for what would otherwise be more frequent postings.

Collin and I are finally at the stage in our training that we are starting to do some jogging with our walking. It feels great. This is what I think I have been missing. I love the high I get from running. My posts will probably start to have a lot more about our training and how it is progressing.

I still intend to post random juicy bits of insanity and hilarity. I need to really start using my phone more... I don't know why I haven't been posting random short blurbs on here with it. Lazy I guess. No more lazy. It is time to live. Before the world ends... LOL!

For anyone unawares, we did get a dog... Just not exactly the way we planned. But that is another story for another time. I am sure I will eventually find the time to post the nuggets of drama from the past three months. Just not tonight. I am tired. I just paid bills for the month. We ran (just so you know; i will refer to our interval jogging/walking/running stuff as running; it's so much more compact...) two miles tonight, and lord only knows what cruel torture our trainer has in store for us tomorrow morning in the freezing effing cold.

That's it for now... Until next time; be it tomorrow, the next day, or April... LOL, no seriously I hope it won't be that long.