Here I lounge with my laptop warming my legs beneath my comforter. I finally found the pattern breaks in my duvet cover and now they are glaringly obvious to me. It bothers me immensely and I want to get a new duvet cover, but I will live for now.
I'm wearing Collin's Portland Winter Hawks thermal. I think at this point it is mine since I am the one that wears it all the time. Only around the house though. I won't wear it in public. I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea and lead them to believe I am a *gasp* Chicago fan. Blah! Bleck! NEVER! Detroit, baby!
I can't get the brightness on my screen to adjust... This light is kind of killing me. The thoughts though, there are so many thoughts and memories and experiences floating around that I am trying to save that I haven't been able to share with you. After today I know now that I need to free up the space on my hard drive, so come hell or high water I need to find the time to spew out this rubbish. More for me than anything, but I still hope you all find some solace and humor in it all.
We'll rewind a bit, but I am only going over the high level crap. If I feel like going into more detail I will write another post about that specific thing. The only thing I might really get into tonight is why I haven't been on here (it ties into why my laptop's lack of brightness adjustment is pissing me off).
Our tenth wedding anniversary was last month. Collin had it planned for the last three year, no joke, since before the wee one was even on the horizon. It was a wonderful weekend. Day one was coffee and shopping with my best friend and lunch. Then Collin and I went downtown for some black light miniature golf (this was an unknown to me so I was wearing heels and a dress which was WAY out of the box for me), followed by happy hour and then dinner. Between the main course and dessert Collin got down on one knee in the middle of the restaurant and asked me to marry him again. Got me all misty eyed. Day two was tattoos with the unfortunate mix of the little monster going exorcist mode so we had to get her from daycare early but timing it all worked out. I got tatted first while he picked the bugger up and then we switched off. The new tattoo is epicly nerdy and translates to the following:
I <3 nbsp="" p="" u="">(I love you more)
The pic is first day after so it was still swollen; it's around my wrist like a cuff bracelet.
Day three was hair and nails. I got the undercut I have been dreaming off and we threw some purple into the blond. One last purple hurrah before I bid it adieu for a while. Too many people have it, and too much of my clothing "matches." Day four was meant to be a trip to the county fair but with all the smoke from the summer fires in Oregon it just wasn't a good idea to spend the day outside.
As I shared I don't know when, I have been dealing with an uncomfortable and weird eye issue. Well, the last weekend of August I had a horribly bad episode. I was an idiot and forgot to put my ointment in after staying up way too fucking late. The next morning (if you can call three a.m. that) I woke up in agony. My eye was this burning hole of Hades in my face. I couldn't open it without sobbing. Me being the stubborn shit I am thought I could sleep it off. So I stayed in bed. Normally these little episodes would resolve within a few hours. Not this one. I went to urgent care, but given the nature of my case there was naught they could do for me other than put a eye patch style gauze bandage on me and give me a note excusing me from work until my appointment with ophthalmology (I've got really good at spelling that now) on Tuesday. The rest of Sunday was hell. Monday was only mildly better. Tuesday I still didn't want to open my eye, but I did for the ophthalmologist. What killed me was them asking me to do a vision test.... I could barely stand to open my damn eye let alone try and use it.
Standard procedure I know. Anyways, my super doctor took one look at me eye and saw that I was in deep trouble. I had come terrifyingly close to completely detaching the first layer of my cornea this time. She had to numb my eye and do some "clean up" around the edges to help my cornea try and reattach and then she put a contact lens bandage in place. I got some new eye drops and a note saying no worky until I spoke to the corneal specialist the next day.
This was for the best since once the numbing wore off my eye was throbbing. Can you imagine that sensation? Your eye throbbing. Not like headache style, I mean like new tattoo/deep flesh wound throbbing. You know the sensation I mean, right? Yea, imagine that in your goddamn eye. I spent the majority of the day in bed. The next morning I felt a little better. I mean I could open my goddamn eye without screaming so that was good.
I saw the corneal specialist and he noted that it had begun to heal and he didn't want to remove the bandage but he wanted to see me back at the end of the month with a lens change in between. He also released me for work.
This past week has been the first week I have not needed to see my eye care team. The week after all this I needed to get my contact changed due to protein build up; it felt like there was a hair stuck in my eye. Last week my contact was pinching, but the corneal dude didn't want to take it off because the whole point of it is to keep the lens in place and keep the cornea protected. I go in on Tuesday for my follow up. I am praying that this lens bandage thing is working. I really don't want to have surgery on my eye.
Outside of this wonderful experience, work has been hell. So much change, and I know some of it will bring about amazingly good things, but some of it is down right crushing. Thank god for my home life. As I alluded to above, we cancelled our gym memberships in favor of using the fitness center at work as needed. It's not quite as far and well, it's free. We've also cut back on other things in order to start saving up for some big ticket things. Also, we are still recovering from the engine rebuild in Collin's car. It helps to have firm goals in mind though, and a partner sharing the vision. Good way to stay on track. So we nixed the gym in favor of family walks in the evenings after work. The princess loves them. More and more she is wanting out of her strolled to walk and explore. We are encouraging as we want her to continue to this independent path.
We have also been getting back to some very, very light gaming. By light I mean Minecraft a couple nights a week. I think we are going to check out Skyforge soon.
Oh yea, so the reason I need to clear the cache in my head:
I got accepted to my company's leadership program. It's nine wonderful months of spending every other Saturday in a room with my peers from throughout my company learning how to be effective and inspiring leaders. This is in line with my career development plan. Okay, so there's only ten of us including me, but still. Today was the first day and it was quite interesting. We shall see how this goes and what amazing takeaways I get from it.
I'm sure I have a million other things to tell you about, but my goal was to get to bed early and it's now a quarter past ten.
You'll hear from me again soon. I want to go into detail about the anniversary dinner date. It was AMAZING.
Have a safe night! (PS I didn't proof read this, so bite me.)
