Okay, so my thirtieth birthday is fast approaching. I feel
like an odd outlier on the dot matrix because I am over the moon excited to be
moving on to the next decade of my life.
I have a history of having horrible birthdays; whether work
or personal life related they have consistently sucked donkey testicles in one
way or another. None of it has ever had to do with aging, just crap happened
during the day to make it unenjoyable.
It’s no one’s fault, Collin strives to make my birthdays
special, but we’re human and such.
This past birthday (29th) was one of the best,
but even it was bittersweet. It was my last day of maternity leave with my
jellybean and as I reflect on it I was not ready to go back to work and have
her start daycare. I do remember the good parts though: free coffee at Dutch
Bros. (you know I will be getting that this year!), snuggles with my tiny one (and
man, she was tiny then), sushi for dinner, and birthday cake (carrot, I am a
sucker for carrot cake).
My plan for my 30th- aka the dirty thirty – is to
go with the flow. The only thing I am pushing for is a new purse and some new
shoes for work. I told Collin the rest of it is up to him. I am tired of trying
to make sure I have a good birthday, I just want to enjoy the day with my
family and relish in their love and affection (and any happy surprises they
should have in store for me). I know the things I want, and what I would love
to do but I figure if any of it doesn’t happen I’ll use it as my weight loss
motivator in the next month.
The shoes - the reason I need them is because, after a
painful evening of limping, I have come to the understanding I need to stop
wearing my heels until my left foot is completely healed. Even though wearing
them doesn’t cause any pain, they are not allowing my foot to heal properly
and, dammit, I REALLY want to start running. Like now. That said, I need to get
some cute, work appropriate shoes. Right now I am wearing tennis shoes and
praying to god no one says anything until I can replace them….
The purse – Now that my little koala is bigger we don’t
normally need too much when we go out and about with her. When we do need to bring
extra anything we normally just bring a separate backpack of supplies for her.
Or tote bag depending on our destination. So, I am looking for a slightly
smaller purse for work and in town outings.
Thirty… I can’t quite put a finger on it, but I think part
of the excitement in this for me is that I never saw myself in my thirties.
What I mean by that, I have no flipping idea. This will sound totally off the
wall, but I am a person who tends to visualize their future. Once I hit my
twenties it got harder to do until the last half of it. I don’t know why. But
now, I see it all. I can see what I think/hope/dream will be the future. I have
a path that I am walking right now, and though I am sure there are a few
obstacles and detours, I know where I am headed. This doesn’t mean it can’t all
change direction or even destination, but some of the most important things are
pretty solid. I find great peace in that.
I feel I really need to recap everything from this amazingly
life changing decade I am preparing to put behind me. I don’t think either of
us have that kind of time. Let’s journey through the high/low points:
20 – Got married. Yep, it’ll be ten years this August. Nutso,
right? Started doing random temp jobs, one of which basically had me reading
and crocheting for three months (I answered phones when they rang)
21 – Found a full time job. Began paying off all the bad
decisions of my youth and stupidity.
22 – Began to take over the world by climbing the ladder at
a small office. Reached the top way too fast and had no intention of taking
over the business.
23 – Lost one of my front top teeth to poor care and
stupidity. Was at my heaviest weight ever. Moved out of Collin’s parent’s house
(had live there since I was 19).
24 – Still pretty huge, began to make little changes;
cutting out soda, fast food, etc. Was really unhappy with my job. Decided we
didn’t think we would ever want kids.
25 – Began in earnest to try and lose weight and find a
better job. I was fat and missing teeth, it was a hell of a struggle until I
interviewed with a gal who saw past that. She will never realize what a
positive change in MY life her decision made. Broke up with my employer of over
four years. Collin’s (unknown) little sister reached out to us, and opened a
whole new world of family to Collin; including a bio-father he thought long
dead.
26 – Had started working and was looking forward to moving
closer to work (we lived sixty miles away). With the move I really became
interested in running and joined a group. I had dropped about fifty pounds from
my heaviest.
27 – Was down around 90 pounds from my heaviest. I completed
my first 5k in August and was continually upping my mileage. Discussed the want to have kids after all. In October we went
to Nebraska and met Collin’s little sister, her significant other and her son
(Collin’s nephew). We didn’t meet the bio-father but hope to soon, next time we
make it out there. Completed my first 10k in November (Thanksgiving day – great
way to pre-burn calories before the dinner).
28 – Was down about 130 pounds from my heaviest. Lightest I
have been since I was 19. Finally began the process of fixing my front teeth.
Dropped another 20 lbs while training for my first half marathon (13.1 miles).
One week before completing my first ½ found out I was also expecting my first
child. Still finished all 13.1 miles and felt amazing. Broke my foot at my ten
year class reunion (first broken bone). Completed the dental restoration. Found
out I was going to have a daughter. Had a beautiful, sweet, healthy child.
29 – Decided it was time to move on in my career. Started
thinking about our future as a family and needed to make a move to support that
future. Stumbled on an amazing opportunity that I had written off and come to
peace with not getting. Also received an amazing promotion in the first six
months. Watched my infant transform into a toddler who amazes me every day.
Collin’s mom passed away after a slow decline in her health. We bought our
first house. I am officially down 170 pounds from my heaviest weight as I type
this.
The future is so bright I gotta wear shades. I’m telling
you.
I have about sixty more to go. I wouldn’t be against losing
more, but that’s where I want to be.
I’m kind of amazed at my twenties and the transformation I
went through. There is so much more to it than what I listed above, but again,
neither of us have that kind of time.
Thank you for taking this trip down memory lane. I don’t
think it will be the last post of my twenties, I have some funny fitness things
I want to share with you, but the last decade has been weighing heavily on my
mind and needed to be shared.
Bam! Over 1,300 words. (I cheated and typed this up in MS
Word…)
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