I Feel Like Something

I'm sitting here with a million thoughts on my mind feeling the urge to do something. I could pop up and do some squats and crunches and other healthy activity things. Instead I am imagining what it will feel like when I can start running again.

In the last couple weeks I feel like I am transforming. Okay, so I am a little late to the game. I know I have been transforming over the past few years, but just recently it has become so much more apparent to me. The biggest wake up to me about how far I have come was when I went into Old Navy and Kohls and was able to comfortably shop in the "Misses" rather than the "Women's" section... I never did get why the plus sized areas in some stores was called the "Women's" sections....

Anyways.

I pretty much bought a whole new work wardrobe. The only thing I am truly lacking is pants. It is so hard to find pants right now that fit correctly. Many of the regular sized pants are somewhat snug, and in some cases too snug around the thighs, but the plus sized ones all seem way too big. I am thinking I will suffer through the pants I have for a couple more months and try to slim down some more.

Work has been boring and chaotic at the same time. It's the lull of the year. Within the next few weeks I have no doubt it will be pretty interesting and busy. I am fine with this. I love the challenge of a busy and almost over loaded day. It keeps work interesting and fun for me. Give me my music and I am good to go.

The biggest thing with work is that it is the time for our annual raises. I am pleased with mine, and am glad to be recognized for all my efforts. Money isn't everything, but when you are trying to pay off the last remnants of bills it sure does help. One thing I have decided to do out of the bit of excess I will see in my next check is to treat myself.

Next week, after payday, I go in for my foot follow up appointment, and I have high (but guarded) hopes that my foot will be healed and I can say sayonara to the boot. That weekend I want to treat myself to some new shoes (no heels :-() and my first official pedicure.

This kind of goes back to the transformation I have been becoming more aware of. I don't want to say I am becoming more girly necessarily, but I have this desire to look nice and polished. Including my fingers and toes. I have this bizarre desire to paint my nails, and of course right now I can't paint my left index fingernail while I continue to wait for it to heal completely from my smashing birthday. I suppose that doesn't have to keep me from polishing the remaining nine.

I am feeling rather disjointed too. It's like the longer I can't run the more jumbled my thoughts seem to get. I am not expecting to get back to it until April, but oh, to imagine it brings me so much peace. It doesn't clear my head but knowing how close I am to being able to resume it calms me down when I start feeling anxious. Weird, right? But it's true, my running helps with my anxiety. I know for a fact I have mentioned that running is to me what meditation is to a yogi. It is my higher plane of existence.

I just want to end this with the fact that I love my husband and am eternally grateful for the deep connection we have. Our minds can sometimes seem so connected and it amazes me. He just asked me if I want him to shut up (this will give him a reference point as to where I was).

Oh hey, so there was a family reunion for my dad's side of the family this past weekend it was great. The wee one tried pineapple for the first time, and that is what I will leave you with. I love my life.