Egg Whites and Chocolate Ice Cream

I'm home today trying to beat down this cold. Even sleeping in until eleven this morning and I still feel run down. I feel better than I did yesterday, but still lame.

This summer I managed to get the ice cream maker attachment for Gandalf the Gray (my Kitchen Aid Pro Series stand mixer). We had it a few weeks before I finally had a chance to use it. Now, I must say, I don't think I will ever buy ice cream again (unless I am truly desperate).

I found a great recipe for homemade chocolate ice cream that was easy to follow and absolutely delicious on Frugal Living NW (another Pacific Northwest based blog). Here's a link to the recipe; which is also one of my cooking hero's recipes - the great Alton Brown. I plan to also try a vanilla one in the future.

The texture was so creamy and the flavor was uncomplicated and perfect. I can imagine all the lovely ways I could tweak it to make different ice creams like rocky road, brownie, death by chocolate, and the list goes on.

There was a wonderful quote on the post the recipe came from that I can wholeheartedly endorse, it's from another book and the short and sweet version is that there is nothing wrong with eating "junk food" on occasion as long as you make it yourself. Most of us aren't willing to make our own ice cream or fries or such.

By making my own ice cream I'm avoiding waste when I eat egg whites. If I didn't make ice cream with the yolks they'd just have to be tossed and I hate the idea of wasting food.

I need to figure out if they can be frozen, otherwise I may be making more and more ice cream than is necessarily beneficial. It would negate the whole point of eating the egg whites, right?

Sorry, my focus is lacking today and in turn my post is lacking the meat I wanted it to have.

Ruby is peacefully snoring while I have "Begin Again" playing in the background. I have wanted to watch it for a while; it is partially to blame for the lack of focus. In a little bit I need to drag my ass into the kitchen to start on dinner. It's more of a dessert for dinner sort of thing... Okay it's straight up dessert. I'm making berry cobbler for dinner.

I am trying to start cleaning out the freezer, but that will be in the next post.

What Doesn't Make Me Stronger Kills Me

It’s been a long year… A very, very long year. It just keeps going.

In fact, this time last year was when I was in the thick of the epithelial debridement treatments for my corneal erosion in my right eye, and that seems like it was eons ago. This was also around the time I cancelled my gym membership. Since then so much has happened. So much has changed. A lot of sad, painful and scary stuff, but somehow there is always a balance of lightness – happy, joyful and amazing things.

The hardest thing for me to admit, is that in the thick of all this change, good, bad or otherwise, I really lost sight of my fitness goals and regiments. I can blame everything in the world (and trust me the list is looooong), but it all boils down to me and my lax behavior over the last six months in particular. There was some yo-yoing but I have gained a net of 35 pounds back in the last few months, and let me tell you I am miserable for it.

The biggest change that has made it more of a struggle? I didn’t have my partner by my side to push me. It’s not an excuse, but Collin and I were both more successful when we could push each other. I know the little one is almost three, but we still seem to struggle finding the right things to do together for our fitness that we can easily involve her in. To us she’s at an odd age to incorporate in running, she doesn’t like sitting in her stroller the whole time but she can only go a mile or so on her own before she is exhausted. Because of this, we have both tried to find our fitness stride outside our normal team dynamic. We walk on breaks and lunches at work, we try to get in a few nights of walking as a family (especially now with the pupperoo), but it’s just not cutting it.

I go to the gym 3-5 times a week, but I feel like I am missing out on things when I do and if I skip to spend time with the family I feel like I am cheating myself. I’ve tried going early in the morning, and it was so-so for me. I may start going after the wee one is in bed. The main reason I don’t is because I don’t like eating a meal before going to the gym. I’ll just have to stick with a lighter dinner (which isn’t a bad thing).

It’s become this ongoing tug of war for me. I’m tired of feeling this way; run down, overwhelmed, fractured even. With the knowledge it is on me to control these things, that is exactly what I am doing.

First thing, Collin and I are back in action pushing each other towards our health goals. We are trying out the It Works® System for 90 days (I will share our progress and results as we go along). I am dedicated to hitting the gym 3 times a week. I plan on adding Collin to my membership (surprise!). We have a training plan in place to get us back up to half marathon distance that we slacked on this last month, but we are going to get our happy butts back on the wagon (surprise again, honey!). We don’t have a race in mind, but I think we will shoot for one around new year’s (maybe not a half, but we’ll see).

The biggest obstacle we face with our training and fitness is ourselves. We need to get past the mental road blocks we put in place about how to accomplish these goals with a toddler and a puppy in tow. The biggest obstacle with the pup is getting her comfortable with other dogs again. That damn cocker spaniel in Omaha really traumatized her puppy psyche. The next biggest is accepting that we are not going to be at prime race pace with a toddler and a puppy along for the ride, and that’s fine. For me it’s more about the distance than the pace. I need to remember that.

Don’t be shocked when you see more and more accountability type posts from me on here. Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Instagram will and have been seeing more and more food related posts as I work to be mindful and conscious of what I am fueling my body with. (If you want some new ideas or some inspiration, please feel free to follow me on Instagram @drivebyscreamer and Twitter @DriveByScreamer)

No lie, I am skeptically hopeful that the It Works® System will help give us the boost in the right direction we so badly need. I know it will not make miracles happen on the scale or in our fitness performance, but I am hoping it will at least augment the work we are doing. I have read both success and fails; and as I have said so many times in the past, I really don’t think supplements and such are the best way to go about achieving long term health. But I am getting older ( *gasp* 31) and I know my body is changing and needs a little more help than it did a few years ago when I was first into the healthy living.

Determination is going to be my biggest ally or enemy. It’s all how I use it.

Next post – Chocolate Ice Cream/Why I Eat Egg Whites

See, there’s balance. ;-)

This Masterpiece Is Only Mine

Weird, weird dreams lately. Like the kind that could envy some of my pregnancy dreams – and no, I am most definitely not pregnant so just get that out of your head.

They have been both vivid and completely off the wall. The most recent one involved my imaginary rock star best friend. Right, so he’s not my friend, but in my head we would be best pals. Ha!

This particular dream was the most mundane, like zero excitement, just very vivid and believable. We (like husband, child and puppy) were visiting family and just hanging out and dude was there. Then we all went walking down at the beach. It was just laid back and fun and we all talked about work and what was going on in life.

Completely bizarre, I know. What the hell kind of fantasy dream is that. The realistic kind, that’s what. It’d be nice to get to spend more time just relaxing with my friends (even the made up ones… Dude’s not made up though, but, yea, you get it). More than likely that is what the dream was pointing to.

Still it would be cool to just get to know my rock star dude.

  

Rock Star Dude == Josh Ramsay

*crickets*

You have no idea? That’s okay. He’s Canadian.

That should explain it all, eh? Not so much?

Honestly, I would love to meet his entire band, Marianas Trench. The whole lot is Canadian. They are classified as Pop/Rock I think.

Thanks to Pandora I have been listening to one of their songs since it came out, “Cross My Heart”. Last year, my station played another one of their songs, “Porcelain,” and I found myself anxiously waiting to hear it. It was just one of those songs that spoke to some piece of me on the deepest level. I heard another song a few months ago but I couldn’t remember the title to save my life. I began this epic search to find the track that involved a lot of time on You Tube before essentially making my way through their entire discography. I am honestly still not 100% which track it was; but what I did find is that I loved every single goddamn song they released.

The album that really did me in was “Ever After.” It is supposed to be listen to as one track more or less and (need to get my hands on a copy) in the CD coverlet there is a story written by Mr. Ramsay that ties into the themes of the album. I still haven’t had a chance to read it. Then to further the pull of the story; the videos made for the singles from said album can mostly be strung together to further tell the story.

My.

Mind.

Was.

Blown.

I have an immense appreciation for the artistry involved. Even more so since the band creates and writes most, if not all, of the music. Then, through some crazy Canadian wizardry, they melodically tie them all together, in some cases even cross referencing between albums. You’d probably never know it if you weren’t a desperate weirdo like me who has listened to everything. For some reason I can’t bring myself to use the term of their “die hard” fans – trencher. I have considered getting my passport card and driving 600 miles for an upcoming show. None of their US tour dates hit anywhere near me. They were literally in Omaha the week before me. No freaking joke.

And I just realized how drastically this post shifted from talking about my odd dreams to a gushing fan girl post…. Sorry.

Last little blurb on this topic; there is a song on their newest album “Astoria” titled “Forget Me Not,” that crushed me; like every molecule within me resonated with the song, and once I learned the background of it, my heart completely went out to the writer and his family. Quick and dirty, it is about a loved one suffering from dementia (or similar) and it brought up all the stored emotions tied with the loss of my mother in law back in 2014. You don’t have to like the “genre” to appreciate the art.

Back to the weird dreams.

Again, reiterating, the negative status on a bun being in my over; I dreamt I was pregnant again. It was realistic to the point I had to really clear my head when I woke up. It must be something in the air, water or food that is doing this to me. Considering all the “madness” at work (translation – big, time consuming, global project) you would think I would be dreaming about that in one fashion or another, but apparently I have been pretty good at compartmentalizing that shit.

I had a dream about ballroom dancing over the weekend... I'm sure that means something beyond the fact I want Collin and I to learn someday. And also maybe have an official dance as husband and wife when we renew our vows (there was no dancing at our original wedding). 

Next Post: Breaking it down before building it up.