It’s been a long year… A very, very long year. It just keeps going.
In fact, this time last year was when I was in the thick of the epithelial debridement treatments for my corneal erosion in my right eye, and that seems like it was eons ago. This was also around the time I cancelled my gym membership. Since then so much has happened. So much has changed. A lot of sad, painful and scary stuff, but somehow there is always a balance of lightness – happy, joyful and amazing things.
The hardest thing for me to admit, is that in the thick of all this change, good, bad or otherwise, I really lost sight of my fitness goals and regiments. I can blame everything in the world (and trust me the list is looooong), but it all boils down to me and my lax behavior over the last six months in particular. There was some yo-yoing but I have gained a net of 35 pounds back in the last few months, and let me tell you I am miserable for it.
The biggest change that has made it more of a struggle? I didn’t have my partner by my side to push me. It’s not an excuse, but Collin and I were both more successful when we could push each other. I know the little one is almost three, but we still seem to struggle finding the right things to do together for our fitness that we can easily involve her in. To us she’s at an odd age to incorporate in running, she doesn’t like sitting in her stroller the whole time but she can only go a mile or so on her own before she is exhausted. Because of this, we have both tried to find our fitness stride outside our normal team dynamic. We walk on breaks and lunches at work, we try to get in a few nights of walking as a family (especially now with the pupperoo), but it’s just not cutting it.
I go to the gym 3-5 times a week, but I feel like I am missing out on things when I do and if I skip to spend time with the family I feel like I am cheating myself. I’ve tried going early in the morning, and it was so-so for me. I may start going after the wee one is in bed. The main reason I don’t is because I don’t like eating a meal before going to the gym. I’ll just have to stick with a lighter dinner (which isn’t a bad thing).
It’s become this ongoing tug of war for me. I’m tired of feeling this way; run down, overwhelmed, fractured even. With the knowledge it is on me to control these things, that is exactly what I am doing.
First thing, Collin and I are back in action pushing each other towards our health goals. We are trying out the It Works® System for 90 days (I will share our progress and results as we go along). I am dedicated to hitting the gym 3 times a week. I plan on adding Collin to my membership (surprise!). We have a training plan in place to get us back up to half marathon distance that we slacked on this last month, but we are going to get our happy butts back on the wagon (surprise again, honey!). We don’t have a race in mind, but I think we will shoot for one around new year’s (maybe not a half, but we’ll see).
The biggest obstacle we face with our training and fitness is ourselves. We need to get past the mental road blocks we put in place about how to accomplish these goals with a toddler and a puppy in tow. The biggest obstacle with the pup is getting her comfortable with other dogs again. That damn cocker spaniel in Omaha really traumatized her puppy psyche. The next biggest is accepting that we are not going to be at prime race pace with a toddler and a puppy along for the ride, and that’s fine. For me it’s more about the distance than the pace. I need to remember that.
Don’t be shocked when you see more and more accountability type posts from me on here. Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Instagram will and have been seeing more and more food related posts as I work to be mindful and conscious of what I am fueling my body with. (If you want some new ideas or some inspiration, please feel free to follow me on Instagram @drivebyscreamer and Twitter @DriveByScreamer)
No lie, I am skeptically hopeful that the It Works® System will help give us the boost in the right direction we so badly need. I know it will not make miracles happen on the scale or in our fitness performance, but I am hoping it will at least augment the work we are doing. I have read both success and fails; and as I have said so many times in the past, I really don’t think supplements and such are the best way to go about achieving long term health. But I am getting older ( *gasp* 31) and I know my body is changing and needs a little more help than it did a few years ago when I was first into the healthy living.
Determination is going to be my biggest ally or enemy. It’s all how I use it.
Next post – Chocolate Ice Cream/Why I Eat Egg Whites
See, there’s balance. ;-)
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