You Hog All Our Robots And Steal All Our Corpses!

This will be blunt and to the point, way too much to make a longer coherent thought.

Still no new baby niece. Jenn is due tomorrow (as she informed me yesterday... I thought she wasn't due until Thursday). Literally it could be anytime now... I (like Jenn) am getting impatient. Mom has been calling Jenn everyday, and if she can't get a hold of her she then calls me and asks me if I have talked to Jenn. Today she went beyond calling and showed up at my dad's. Jenn said Mom was rubbing her tummy and telling little girl to come out soon so she can see her. Jenn swears she felt her crawl back up into her ribs. LMAO!

Work is still work. One day it is tolerable, but more and more it is dreadful. And now Maury isn't on from noon to one (my lunch hour), it's on one to two. Instead, Jerry Springer is on during my lunch. It is a major help to my day, I figure as long as I CANNOT relate to the stories on Jerry my life isn't that bad... Ha. I have every hope work is and will be getting better... But who's to say?

I tried this new boxed dinner (I had a coupon and they had it at Wal Mart) Romano's Macaroni Grill: Chicken Marsala w/ Linguine. It was like making Hamburger Helper but tasted a million times better, and I served it over steamed broccoli, sooo freaking good.

I got the best news ever on Friday (which made it into a FABULOUS Friday), my K is coming back to Oregon!! I don't know how soon but I just know I almost started screaming and jumping up and down at work when she told me the news. I have missed her so freaking much and it will be so nice to have her back here.

I'm going to go chill... I am tired, and I pray Jenn doesn't go into labor in the middle of the night...

Am I A Little Sick Or A Little Sane...

So I lied at the end of the last post. I never quite made it to my sketchbook yesterday. I just couldn't get focused... I am going to try again here in a little bit.

Today I indulged and bought a two disc CD set of various classical pieces (I like to listen to classical music on the weekends and evenings to relax). When I got home, before sitting down to do my weekly coupon clipping, I put one of the CDs in the player in the living room and the bastard wouldn't effing play it! Oh, I was pissed... So much for the classical music calming me down, right? Then I popped it into the laptop and it came up just fine. I am thinking the laser on the CD player in the living room is going or has gone out. Which is just fanfuckingtastic....

I miss Collin... I know, lame right? He officially started his new schedule today... Instead of working Friday & Saturday 10am-7pm and Sunday-Tuesday 9am-6pm he now works Friday 10am- 9pm Saturday 8am-7pm, Sunday 10am-9pm and Monday 10am-9pm, with Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off. So, I now effectively see him EVEN LESS on MY weekend. Don't take this the wrong way. I am not mad at Collin, he had no control over his new schedule, and we are just thankful he has a job. I just miss him when he's gone and I am here alone (with the cat of course but sometimes she isn't the best company). But, there is a silver lining, the schedule will probably change again in a few months if not sooner. It's just the waiting.

It doesn't help these feelings that I am reading The Time Traveler's Wife. It is such a good book, but I don't want to finish it because I am fairly certain it's gonna be very sad. Just the undertones and the foreshadowing and what has recently happened in the story, all of it paints a picture of suffering. Hopefully I am not ruining the storyline for anyone... The book is awesome though, and I could be wrong maybe it has a miraculously happy ending...

As of right now (7:27 pm Sunday, September 13th) my new niece has still not made her entrance into the world. Hopefully now (much to Jenn's discomfort but my convenience) she will wait until Friday evening or Saturday, but knowing my luck it will be tomorrow night... (Wouldn't it be creepy if I am right?) At least there wouldn't be anymore anxiety about that, and hopefully my dreams will not be so weird... Thursday night every time I closed my eyes I dreamt I was at the office, and at one point Jenn was there with Tyson (Cassidy's dad which is why it is so effing weird) and Jenn was giving birth to a baby... Then today, I took a nap, and at one point my dream was so surreal but almost believeable I didn't know if I was awake or not. I dreamt that my sister and Jordan had come over and parked on my front lawn. And I couldn't understand how they got in the house because I know I locked the deadbolt, but it seemed almost real.... I was so freaked out that when I really did wake up I had to go take a shower, and splash some cold water on my face.

Right after my shower my mom called and we talked for a bit. I yet again dodged talking about Jenn, I know that if my mom knew I had just talked to her Friday she would ask about when Jenn has the baby and if I would pick her up or something like that. As heartless as this may sound, no, I will absolutely NOT pick my mother up to be at the birth of Jenn's third child. Reason number one: I don't know how much time I will have to get there from here, without any weird side trips into McMinnville. Reason number two: (and don't judge) Jenn does not want her there, last time (when Jordan was born obviously) mom caused way to much tension and Jenn almost bit her head off at one point... As hurt as she might be at first my mom will get over the fact that Jenn didn't invite her to be there (it sure as hell isn't my place to be extending invitations... LOL), and just like everything else it will only be used on rare occasions for guilt trips.

I need water and graphite therapy... (I am thirsty and going to sketch...)

That's What Our Tax Payer Dollars Are Going Towards?

Letting old people on Medicare buy penis pumps??? Seriously, saw the commercial this week one morning before work... The old dude said, (in shaky old wrinkly voice) "And because I qualified Medicare paid for all of it..." And I just about retched my breakfast all over the living room...

So here's the story:

This was Jordan's birthday cake:

This is Jordan with frosting on his nose:

And this is what made that so freaking adorable: We had done the candles and Jordan wanted to play with the Spongebob figure from the cake, so Grandma Sharon took it off and Jordan licked the frosting of its legs. Then they took off the protective plastic shell so that Spongebob's back wasn't covered in frosting and gave it to Jordan to lick off the frosting. And he just went at it with vigor. He didn''t notice when he got a huge gob of yellow frosting on the end of his nose. I was frantically trying to get my camera on and take a picture, Jenn was telling Jordan to let me take a picture when his nose must have itched. He reached his left hand up to wipe his nose and Jenn deftly used the "Mommy's Got Both Your Hands" one handed restraint. Jordan then managed to wipe his nose on his shoulder before I could take the picture! This all essentially happened in a matter of seconds. When we told Jordan I wanted a picture of him with the frosting on his nose he said, "Oh!" Then he preceded to get another gob of yellow frosting with his finger and then put it on the tip of his nose, and let me take the above picture. It was just too freaking cute.

I meant to post all this last weekend but I have been rather anxious (which is soooo not good for my psoriasis, I am dealing with a fun little flair up) and having a hard time focusing unless I am really into something. This is because Jenn is due any day. Her children thus far have all been slightly early by about a couple weeks, and this little girl's due date is less than twelve days away. Today would be optimal so I don't have to miss work (because I will miss work for this, I am not missing the birth of Jenn's last child for anything), but since when do babies come at the most opportune time? LOL. Jenn informed me last week that she will be getting her tubes tied after this one. I politely said "phew"... I have an "emergency kit" ready to go regardless of when her water breaks. It consists of a couple waters, a Dr Pepper, an orange flavored energy drink, and some snacks. So be it 3pm or 3am, when she calls I am gone. Whatever I am doing will be left behind and I will be in the truck and headed to either my dad's or the midwife's.

I think (and hope) today will be our last hot day this year. Yesterday it was about 93, and they are forecasting close to ninety again for today. This summer seemed hot but short... Well, it was really hot for two weeks at the end of July and then mostly comfortably warm... I just can't believe it is fall almost... Kids are in school, leaves are beginning to turn, so on and so forth. Before I can blink the holidays will be here. I will have to start on the Christmas cards soon, I have an AMAZING idea for them that I have been holding onto since last Christmas, it might be difficult to get all the elements I need though... We'll see, I will find a way to make it work... (I know, sheesh, I am so stubborn and persistent... LOL!)

I think I am gonna go work on my next masterpiece... It's gonna be time consuming but totally therapeutic and worth it.

I Think I Will Regret Eating That Sandwich...

Word of advice.... When you begin making tuna for a sandwich, make sure you have mayo... It is NOT the same without it (all I added was mustard and relish).... Maybe I will chase it with some salt and vinegar chips... Might as well make it interesting...

Here is what I did on the 2oth (The Thursday I was on vacation):
I will try to get a better picture after its completely healed. And I am not going to lie, this time the tattoo hurt. It was totally worth the pain and I freaking love it! I brought in the idea for what I wanted and the exact Aquarius symbol I wanted and then the artist sketched out the symbol and drew the water around it. It was more than I really should have spent, but you are only young once and after it is gone it's hard to use youth as an excuse ;-) . Collin also got a tattoo of the Scorpio symbol on his upper left arm.

I talked to my sister the other day (making sure she has all the phone numbers to reach me at) and was informed that the baby is getting in position. I am really hoping she goes into labor in the evening on a Friday, or in the morning on the weekend... I really don't want to have to get up at three in the morning, or rush out of work at two in the afternoon, but I will because I am not missing this for anything.

I started reading The Time Traveler's Wife, and so far I must say I love the book. I haven't seen the movie, and probably won't until it's out on DVD, but I like to read books whenever they are made into a movie because it is a good indication the book was at least halfway decent, since someone felt it was a good enough story to invest the time and effort into writing a screenplay for it.

Visited my mother in McMinnville yesterday... It wasn't as bad as it normally is. It was actually kind of nice. I took her to Wal Mart and bought her some minutes for her cell and oven roasting bags. She treated me to lunch. We mostly just talked and visited for a couple hours. I left at three and if I hadn't been stuck behind this stupid slow ass person I would have totally beat Collin home... Oh well.

There's laundry that needs folding and the book beckons for me to read it.

Holy Effing Sheet! Do You Want This Monster Pickle?

This has been a great week.

Wednesday we went to the coast and visited my family for a bit. Then we went to the beach, the actual beach with sand and water and driftwood and stuff! We haven't gone on the beach itself for like three years I think... Which would have been our first anniversary. Cah-razy. I got some pretty pictures while we were there. Like this one:

Then we decided we didn't want to sunburn and opted to find a shadier venue. We went to the boat ramp park area on East Devils Lake Road (the one that is directly across from Regatta Grounds) and decided to chill out there. Again I got some awesome pictures of the lake, like this one:

There were other people there too, fishing from the dock and stuff. As we sat there reading the fog began to slowly creep in along the surface of the lake. It looked awesome. The fog had everything completely socked in within an hour. These are time progression photos as it came in:

Then we finally decided it was cold (especially when compared to the weather we have been having in the valley, which is why we went to the coast Wednesday, it was supposed to be one hundred in Salem that day!) and that we were hungry. We had decided the night before to try out this place called BK Mulligans, so that is where we went. It was gooooood. Will definitely be going there again.

After dinner we moseyed on home to the valley and watched as the thermometer readout in the cab of the Blazer climbed as we got closer to home. When we left my dad's (we stopped back by so I could go pee, lol!) at about eight-ish it was fifty nine degrees. By the time we got home to Salem shortly after nine it read eighty five freakin' degrees.... Ugh...

Thursday we took care of some responsible stuff and then went and did something fun that there will be pictures of in the next week or so.

Yesterday was our fourth wedding anniversary, we really didn't do anything to special. I made for dinner the first thing I ever made for Collin five years ago, which was ghetto egg noodles in plain canned tomato sauce (it was all I really had in the house back then, yet I still wow'd him with my culinary prowess). For dessert I again went with an oldie but goodie; I made him the first dessert I ever made him: Snicker's Candy Bar Cheesecake.(see picture below) Which I must say, is to mother effing die for! I love it, he loves it, I am sure I could create world peace with this cheesecake if no one was allergic to peanuts or chocolate, and there were no diabetics... Maybe that's why we have war, not everyone can enjoy chocolate...

Today, I rolled out of bed at about 8:30, took a shower, made coffee, and then went to do laundry. As I entered the laundry room I noticed this little puddle of water by the bottom of the hot water heater. I looked all around and know that it wasn't coming from any of the pipes, valves, or connectors. I got a towel and dried it up. Then in a half hour went back to check and there was a little little little itty bitty puddle of water again (emphasis on the fact it was smaller and less water). Even being tiny obviously I am concerned so I try calling the handy dude, his phone went straight to voicemail which is full. Then I call the landlord, got her answering machine (not that she'd be much help, she lives in California!). Then I continued calling the handy dude over and over, but it kept going straight to voicemail. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? There is no incoming shut off valve for the water heater specifically, the handy dude's phone isn't any help, the landlord lives in fucking California, and I have laundry to do! I seriously have no clue who to fucking call next, this all started at 10:15 this morning! I still haven't gotten a call back, and I still can't get through to Carter! Ugh.... All will be okay.

Now I'm gonna eat me some of that cheesecake...

Minions and Old People In Wal Mart

Last night Collin and I went to Best Buy to finally replace our beat up, busted down digital camera. After being utterly disappointed that they did not have my camera(Canon Rebel T1i) on display for me to play with (not that we could in anyway afford it unless we live off of Koolaid and Ramen for a month...) we looked at the other, more affordable cameras. We went back and forth over the one we liked more, and finally decided to get the dark red Nikon Coolpix L20. It was on sale for $119.99 but if we wanted we could get the "package" for $149.96 that came with the camera (duh), a 4 Gb memory card, a carrying case/tiny little bag, and a Flexipod. We agreed to go for the package. Then came the waiting for someone to notice we wanted to buy something from the camera department....

Eventually a stocker dude noticed us and called for the camera department minion to come help us. We told him we wanted the package deal on that one (pointing at the Nikon), and he was like "..... Okay.... Um... Let me see if I can find where they are at...."

Suddenly he was organizing a couple other minions to help him find the premade packages, they are running around, scrambling to find them. Collin and I are standing here and can't help but start laughing, and calling them our minions (not where they could hear of course that would be demeaning... right?) ... I think we had way too much fun with that one.

Finally our minions were successful in locating the packaged goods, and the camera department minion brought it too us. He then attempted to sell us on the "Geek Squad Protection" crap... We were nice and listened but I figure we have had this other camera for three or four years now... I really don't think we would need the extended protection.... Plus in a year if we have the money I plan to get my camera anyways... Maybe for Christmas 2010...

So we go to the cashiers, get checked out, and head out to the car. This is when I finally felt it was safe to mention to Collin that all of the little minions looked like they weren't even old enough to vote, and the cashier who rang up our stuff looked to be about twelve.... I thought child labor was illegal in the US... When we got home I de-packaged the goods and went to town playing with the new camera. I love it, it will suffice until I can afford my baby.... My Canon...

This morning I went grocery shopping at Wal Mart.... I typically go in the morning time when it's me by myself, but I don't think I have gone on a Tuesday morning.... It was scary. It's like they let all the old creepy people out of the home. I heard caregivers yelling at their wards, "I HAVE FROZEN HOT DOGS!" and the old people would mumble in response their favorite brand. In the condiment aisle there was one guy in particular that gave me the heebie jeebies (which I know sounds mean but...), I thought he was with this old lady who kept getting in my way even as I tried to stay out of hers, but then he started following me down the aisle (I was going the opposite direction of the old lady). Turns out he was just looking for a store person to tell him where something was. And crap I just realized I forgot peanut butter.... I'll get it on Thursday or something...

Tomorrow we are going to the coast. It's supposed to be 100 here tomorrow. (ick).... In LC it is only supposed to be 68!!! Woo Hoo!!! We should get some awesome pics with the new camera!

Will Someone Pass The Vodka... I Can Still Taste My Juice.

August has so far been insane, both good and bad. I think it will make the most sense if I go through the month chronologically.

The first couple days were fun. Cassidy spent the night on the 31st and we went down to see my brother in Corvallis on the 1st. We walked around OSU (which is deserted in the summer), and Joshua bought lunch at this awesome little pizza place on Monroe. Then Cassidy and I came back to Salem and totally lost track of time playing Wii Sports Resort, which is one of the most awesome games EVER! I took her home at a quarter to five, and gave my "behavior report" to Jess (Cassidy's step mom....). Sunday that weekend I just chilled.

Monday came and work was work. One day blended into the next, each equally stressful and frustrating. The one day that stood out that week was Thursday. That was the day they laid off my friend Vikki. It was a sad day, and I miss Vikki tons. But there is a silver lining, and we will get to that shortly.

After having a devastating week my goal for the weekend was to just chill out and relax. Thursday night I had felt a tickle in the back of my throat that had grown throughout Friday. By Saturday evening I felt like shit. I had this ridiculous cold in the middle of effing summer. Sunday, between coughing and sniffling, I began working on a present for my niece.

It has been a long time since I have "completed" a piece all the way from scribbled sketch to refined and framed painting, but I did it. And part of me is selfish and wants to keep it, but I made it for her. I have a digital copy of it for my self that I can get reproduced if I choose to. I finally finished it yesterday. This was a labor of love:
Now back to last weekend, well I guess the end of the weekend.

Monday morning came and I felt like absolute shit. My throat was scratchy, so I knew one of my biggest workday past time (smoking, I am aware of the effects enough to know better when I am sick) was out of the question, and that made for a looooooooong day. Tuesday the cold had moved up into my sinuses while lingering in my throat. Wednesday (joy of joys!) the horrible cold moved and settled in my effing ears!!! I was prone to ear infections as a child and absolutely loathe them. Thursday I began to feel slightly better, but not really by much. On Thursday one of our other employees put in their resignation. He is moving to Bakersfield, CA. This was the silver lining, because it opens up a spot and they can hire back Vikki! Yay! All she has to do is accept the job offer. I hope she does... Friday I felt more like a healthy version of myself but my left ear was still a little messed up. But I was thankful to have made it through the week, and on only one cigarette that I smoked Friday after lunch. (No this does not mean I am quitting smoking, which I know in turn sounds stupid. "She made it a week why not quit?" I am a social smoker, I smoke at work, when I am out with people, and outside when I feel like being a sociable neighbor.)

The reason I managed to survive the whole work week was because beginning Monday night thru Friday night, I dosed myself with Nyquil at about 8ish and was in bed asleep by 9pm at the latest. Typically Nyquil makes me have tripped out dreams, but this time around I slept like he dead until it wore off around 3am, then I would wake up coughing, or needing to pee.

Oh, I take that back. Friday night I did have a tripped out dream. For some reason Collin and I had a late eighties white Plymouth Acclaim (I have had a few different acquaintances that have owned a car like this...) that was his grandma's (another weird fact, Collin's grandma has never owned an Acclaim, she had a Camry that we now refer to as Lucy). In the dream, we went somewhere and the car got stolen... I was really upset, like "Not again!"... For those of you who don't remember my first car, it was stolen and set on fire the night of my graduation... Anyways, Collin was like don't worry, we'll get a new car with the insurance money. And that's all I remember.

Yesterday was quiet for me. I finished the piece I was working on for Cassidy, and did six loads of laundry. I washed all the bedding (including the comforter which is a load by itself), all the bathroom towels and stuff, and my clothes. I was supposed to spend the afternoon with Cassidy but Jess texted me on Thursday to let me know Cassidy had caught the summer cold that's going around. So hopefully I can see her Tuesday.

Last night I slept without the aid of Nyquil, and still managed to have a fucked up dream. Words probably can't do it justice so below there is a sketch I did of the image that stuck in my head from this dream.

I heard a cat screeching (for lack of a better term) right outside our small living room window. So I go over and open the curtain thinking to see this cat sitting in the carport or on the neighbor's car or something. Boy, I was wrong. Instead there is this crazy looking, mangy orange tabby cat sitting RIGHT outside our window on the A/C unit yowling and trying to climb through the window. Now this is why I did the sketch, we live in an old house with vertically opening windows and the cat in the dream was trying to come in between the two window halves and already had a paw through. It was jacked up and I don't think there is anything in a dream dictionary or encyclopedia that can help decode this disturbing image...
You tell me... Try not to laugh too hard, upon reflection the sketch is HI-larious, but the dream truly freaked me out.

Oh, good news I forgot to mention, on Tuesday we got our new cell phones (same numbers just phone upgrades). We both got the LG EnV Touch, and they are awesome! Collin got me a clear pink hard plastic cover. I love it!

More good stuff, I only have to work tomorrow (Monday) and then I am off the rest of the week on vacation! Yay me! God, I need it.... This means there should be some fun vacation posting!

Ta-ta for now!