Spoiled Fruits

I was working on this totally different post for the last couple days, but the passion for it eluded me and I am lacking the desire to try and hammer it out right now. So instead I am moving on to something else. Not much I can earn if I am not posting.

The failed post was about my ups and downs with psoriasis. I will try and revisit it in the future.

This post will kind of be a subtext to that about stress. Stress is my biggest trigger with regards to my psoriasis flare ups.

I used to calm my nerves with a plethora of bad habits. Smoking, eating, and rarely, but occasionally, drinking. Obviously, all of these and more were detrimental to my longevity. At the time that I decided to change my habits and work on being more mindful of what I put my body through I had no intentions of having children. I just wanted to live a decade or two past retirement so that I might enjoy some time not working. As a person who has been working since she was fourteen, retirement is a fantasy dreamland to me.

I am not going to rehash EVERYTHING I did to change. Not right now at least. I have posted about a lot of it before. Like I said this is more about stress and how I manage it. Stress is truly a big factor in my overall health. Not just because of the psoriasis but also because of my weight. Stress can lead to making unhealthy choices (not an excuse) and also in general cause my body to physically react in unhealthy ways; blood pressure, hormones, adrenaline, and such.

That said, how do I deal with it? I like to think I have found a pretty decent life/work balance. I put life first because it should be the more important half anyways. Since Collin and I work for the same employer, we vent about stuff on our breaks and lunches, and on the drive home. The moment we get home (especially now with the tiny human) it's about our time together as a family and also our time as individuals. We both try to take a few hours, broken up throughout the week to do our own thing. Many times I prefer to use that time to play with our daughter if she's not already in bed.

Having my me time is pretty mission critical to keeping my stress at a minimum, but in the same breath my time with my loved ones is just as critical or I stress about the lack of time we have together. Plus there is nothing more stress relieving (keeping it clean here so try not to argue) than listening to the laughter of my daughter. There are other activities that are just as relaxing, but that is for when she is asleep. Things like watching my favorite shows (Walking Dead starts Sunday!) and cuddling.

When I do take my me time for just me, I typically go for a walk, do crunches, read, do yoga, go mad on Pinterest, and other similar activities. After we move I hope to start getting in a few hours of gaming here and there. By gaming I mean PC gaming, and by PC gaming I mean Diablo III, Minecraft, and WoW.

I can attribute a large part of my stress less and weight loss to having an amazing partner. For the past few months we have drifted away from going on walks/runs together, but are trying to get back into that. Go figure the first week we really work on it we both get a nice little tummy bug (thank you, baby girl).  Oh well, tonight we have grocery shopping to do, but tomorrow night we should be able to. We are working on walking after work every night with the wee one, and then we will get back into running together more and more.

It's hard to do stuff like that alone for me. It's easier and more enjoyable when I can have my partner in crime by my side, and our tiny minion makes it even better. It'll be even better as we settle into the new house in a month.

Speaking of, that has been another stress factor, combined with our finances. I can happily say that this month I am not stressed about our finances. But then again, even when there is no issue with our finances I still stress about them because that's who I am. I am getting better. It's just another thing I have to work on, just like losing weight. We had a couple of "hiccups" over the summer when we had to pay to replace our garage door; damn HOA we are renting in hadn't had an issue for over two years (I dented it when we first moved in) and decided to pitch a bitch about it now. Oh, well. Everything in the last two months worked so perfectly that combined with me being a little more strict on our budget we are perfectly fine and haven't had to resort to savings or credit cards for anything. It's kind of a big accomplishment and a HUGE decrease in my stress.

Last, but not least; one of my biggest outlets for handling my stress has always been this. What I am doing right now. Spilling my guts out for all to see (totally stolen from a song). Sharing most all of my thought and stories, mistakes and triumphs, and pitfalls and peaks. I am working to transition into not only doing this more often, but also to start making a career out of something I am great at, and passionate about. Unlike my visual art, my written words come naturally and they do not make me feel like I am killing my talent by using it up to earn an income. This is the biggest reason I am not a professional artist or graphic designer.

Writing is like breathing, and the words that flow from my mind are ever precious oxygen. And to those of you who are fellow writers know that writer's block is like aspirating water... Makes it pretty damn hard to breathe.

Now back to my music and thoughts. Stay tuned for more random and beautiful brain matter from me.