Serious. What other mature mammal in the animal kingdom not only ingests milk past childhood but also ingests the milk of various other creatures instead of their own? This was something that Collin and I briefly touched on one evening and I have been meaning to pose this question for sometime. (Well, I have for the last ten odd days, at least)
I think this query will replace my pondering on the point of why Canadian bacon, which isn't even called that in Canada, is on a Hawaiian pizza....
This post is going to be semi- split personality; one topic hilarious to keep it light and then a serious nugget betwixt the laughter. Just want you to be prepared. It's not all me being scatter brained.
I brushed against this next bit a couple posts ago and failed to revisit it as promised.
One thing that was extremely unexpected with my weight loss is a mild case of body dysmorphic disorder. I say mild because unlike a full blown sufferer it doesn't consume me. Part of me likes to just chalk it up to insecurity but I know it's a bit beyond that.
Since having lost the majority of the weight (still have about 65-75 lbs. I want to drop) I still have a hard time seeing me. I look in the mirror and I still see the 430 lb. me, not the 260 lb me. My clothes are smaller, people tell me constantly that it looks like the weight is falling off, yet still I see the old me more often than not when I look in the mirror. To top it off, when I am having a "bad" day it makes it harder to believe people when they tell me I am looking great.
I have to purposely take the time to look at pictures of me now versus pictures of me then. Even then it's hard. And don't mistake me sharing this as a cry for any sort of praise or such. It doesn't do anything to help me. This is more a moment where I hope by sharing this flaw of mine it will help someone else recognize an issue of their own. Regardless of what the mirror or other people say, one must learn to love and adore their own self. I have to remember this. I can shout from the roof how much I love myself and how happy I am with where I am from where I was, but there will always be the shadow of that 430 lb. girl looming over me. I will still see that in the mirror on a bad day, even once I achieve my goal and get the excess skin removed (got to give praise to the dude who had the balls to try a go fund me campaign... Might need to consider that in a few years). It's an ongoing struggle and I think it helps me knowing that it's there and acknowledging it.
Now for some fun, another glimpse into the talking points that fill my amazing marriage.
Again, I don't even remember why this happened. Something about blowing spit bubbles. I then went and said, "Oh my god, wouldn't that be a horrible stripper name? 'Spit Bubbles'? And it ain't because of her mouth!" We then fell into a fit of laughter. Yea, I know. We have a winning sense of humor, and you know you wish you had been there. I am trying to get better of noting these interludes so I can share these gems with you. Sometimes they are too funny and I have to run to the toilet before I can pee myself and then I forget to jot them down.
Last week, in an effort to socialize more with my new neighbors, I went to a holiday cookie exchange hosted by the lady who lives next door. It was great. I got to meet several gals that live around me, and learned that we all have small children that are close in age. One of them brought her adorable three month old daughter, and boy that did not help my baby fever at all. The most hilarious moment though was learning that the chick with the three month old knows my niece's dad because her husband co-manages the restaurant he works at with him. Small effing world. They live next door on the other side. Funny, funny, funny.
Since we plan to raise our family here I do plan to be involved with the community as much as possible. I think that is important, especially in smaller towns, but people in large cities need that community too. And I am going to back away from the soapbox now because I don't feel like having this discussion. I have baddies to kill in WoW.
Next post I will share some of our festive traditions and our meal plan for the next month. It's something we will probably start doing quarterly, like juicing, so stay tuned!
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