Yo' Mama So Stupid...

"... I bet when you were a baby and got thrush she put Vagisil in your mouth!"

This was one of the many taunts Collin and I threw back and forth at each other Monday night while playing some Wii Sports (I said that one...). We are so vicious, it was great. Eventually we resorted to just saying gross things to make the other person laugh as they went to bowl.

I am so freaking tired this week and I am not sure why... Okay, actually I am sure why. Work... It has been an ongoing nightmare recently, but it will get better. Soon, hopefully. It's been frustrating enough that I have greatly considered applying for other jobs, but with the job market the way it is here, what would be the point? I still scope out Collin's company every now and again. I am trying to just ride out the storm and hopefully here very soon there will be either some sunshine, or at least a silver lining hinting at the sunshine to come.

This weekend we are hoping some friends will come over visit for an evening. Well, actually, it's Collin's best friend and his fiancee, and I REALLY want them to visit. We want to do like pizza and a movie or two. Plus, I have yet to meet this girl and I'd really like to meet her BEFORE the wedding (it's October 5th, so you can understand my urgency). From what Collin tells me she is a perfect match for our friend Doobers' personality. So, yea, I am really excited to meet her, plus it would give the two of them a nice little break from all the wedding stuff, even if just for a few hours, and it will get them both out of their parents' houses for the evening. I just hope they can come. I haven't seen Doobers for a couple months now.

Other than that, the only other thing I am really planning on this weekend is monster grocery shopping. We'll pretty much be getting everything we need (except the fresh stuff like milk, eggs, bread, veg, etc.) for the rest of the month until after the first, and payday(s) and whatnot. Can you say Costco? I freakin love that place. They have these rice crackers that are freaking awesome.

Okay, funny-story-time, since we got the Blazer Collin has been driving the Toyota (the obvious gas saver), and in said Toyota some of my personal touchs were still there. One being this pretty Celtic Cross my MIL got me in Cali (it's called The Star which happens to be my Tarot Card). Also left behind from me is this plastic bracelet that I made and wore back in high school (people from that era may remember all the bracelets I wore at one point) that consists of these brightly colored plastic teddy bear shaped beads. There are six bears on the bracelet, their individual colors being pink, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. And all are BRIGHT colors. This was left on the shifter post. Now to the meat of the story... One day last week when Collin was leaving work, another male who works at his company noticed the bracelet, and said to my husband, "Hey there teddy bear,want to snuggle together sometime?"

Collin told me this and I about died laughing. But, hey, it should be a boost to his confidence, knowing he's still got it. He then took the bracelet out of the car. Poor baby was traumatized.

Well ANTM is on, so I am off.

Love Is....

Your significant other punching you in the head and chewing on your boob.

That's right bitch, I just told the world.

I love you!

Okay, so I have kind of been avoiding blogging because I was mad at blogger.com for being a pain in the neck, by not letting me change the pictures on my blog page. It kept saying "unable to upload due to internal error", I'll give you a mother effing internal error... I am gonna try to update the pics again after this posting.

Anywhoozle... I love our new car!!! It is awesome (sing songy voice).

Right now I am working on Mia's 2nd Birthday banner. This year the party theme is Hello Kitty. Love the pinks, blues and purples. Her first birthday was Dora the Explorer. It should be fun. (Mia, by the way, is Renee's granddaughter)

Another reason I haven't posted for about a week is because the last week at work has been utter madness. Hopefully it should be mellowing out. Today I did something at work I haven't done in over a year... I did collections. And in the two to two and a half hours that I did collections today, I remembered why I don't do collections. But, I must say, I did get an account paid in full, yay me.

Also, Collin's best friend is getting married October 5th so Friday Collin had to go and get sized for his tux (he's a groomsman), and then on Saturday we went and found me a dress. That's right, I am gonna wear a mother effing dress... I also got some really cute shoes, and a clutch and a necklace, and a light cardigan to wear over the dress (it's sleeveless). I need to get my hair done the weekend before the wedding. Maybe I will post a pic of me in the dress I got, we'll see... I think I will look hot in it... I need to break the shoes in a little between now and then if I am gonna be dancing in them.

Well, I really need to get this banner done. So Peace!

Well Shit My Britches and Call Me Winifred

I totally have no clue either. So don't even waste the energy wondering.

Last night we went to my in-laws' for a late afternoon barbecue. It was fun, we got to show them the new rig they helped us to buy. We got my FIL's stamp of approval, and my MIL... Well, she had her own reasons for liking Ricky. I shit you not, while the four of us were outside talking and pointing out all the neat features she pipes up with the following statement:

"Yea, and it's really safe for babies."

I look over at her with the pasted on smile and respond, "Yes, I'm sure it is...."

Then I turned, wide eyed and probably a few shades paler, and looked to see if my other half had heard his mother's statement.

In case I haven't made it clear on here yet, I do not want children. Correction, WE do not want any children. My MIL... She doesn't know this. Nor does she need to immediately. It's not a matter of how amazing of a parent I think I will be, or anything like that. I know people will tell me it doesn't sound selfish, but the truth of the matter is that I don't want children because they just aren't part of my future goals or plans. I know my feelings could change, but I don't think they will, and if anything we could always be foster parents to a child (or children) or even adopt.

Personally though, after being around to help out a lot with my niece and nephew when they were little, has kind of turned off my desire to have rugrats of my own. Thankfully, I have a wonderful man who feels the same way.

And as I read this I start thinking how stupid, rude, inconsiderate, and, most of all, selfish I sound to all my amazing friends who are already mommies (and every single one of you are amazing mommies, and I love all your freakishly irresistably adorable children).

Those are my feelings.

Collin said that if his mother really starts pushing the issue over the next few years, he will just tell her that we have been trying and that he is sterile (when we can afford it he wants to get a vasectomy, which I totally support.). The reason behind him being the sterile one? If it came out that I was the sterile one, I'd see my MIL being the kind to tell him to leave me since I cannot provide children for him...

And my cat is attacking my purse.... Effing psychopath...

And now she is pissed because mommy took the purse away.

I don't even remember what I originally wanted to blog about... Oh well, at least I got some of my brain's baggage unloaded...

Peace!

It's Like Seeing A Unicorn, On I-5 At Rush Hour, And Being The First To Touch It.

That is how I feel about our new (to us) car. (I kinda stole the title from what Collin said about the car.) So, yesterday I sold my soul to the devil by taking out a loan from my in-laws to obtain this glorious unicorn whose name is Ricky, but I know it is totally worth it. We found Ricky on craigslist and I cannot begin to explain what an amazingly sweet deal it was. Ricky is a 1999 Chevy Blazer, four door, with four wheel drive, tow package, sun/moon roof, leather seats(that are heated!!!), auto dimming review mirror, keyless entry,the whole mother effing shebang! The guy that owned Ricky was an older gentleman who purchased Ricky new when he worked for Wilsonville Chevrolet, and they rarely used it, now they needed to make space. Ricky runs great, and for an SUV gets decent gas mileage. It is the nicest car I have ever owned. Yes, I will be making payments back to the in-laws, I can live with that, but I could not live with passing this car up. For the miles on it and the condition it is in, according to Kelley Blue Book, being sold by a private seller, Ricky could have easily gone for $5,500 to 6,500. Here's the kicker, we paid only $2,500. We easily saved three grand on the car (not that we could get my in-laws to loan us that much). I am extremely happy with the car. Here are some pictures of our unicorn, Ricky:
The Flash caught the reflector perfectly...
And in case you are curious about the name, here's the story. As you know our Nissan's name was Ethel from day one, so when we bought the Toyota from grandma it was only fitting she should be named Lucy (get it? Lucy and Ethel? It's an I Love Lucy reference). Well, now that we have a boy car it's only fitting we name him Ricky, so now it's Lucy & Ricky. Cute I know.

How Was Your Date? You're A Giant Toddler.

Okay, back on Saturday I ended my post with the fact that I felt like doing something. And did we ever do something. We decided to go to the coast, but really really didn't want to take either of our cars (definitely a good choice with regards to what happened yesterday with Ethel). Collin had the insanely awesome idea of just renting a car for the day. We started calling rental places in Salem and even went to Avis, but no one had any cars in. Our plan was looking like it was gonna die before it could ever get off the ground. We had given up all hope when I decided we should call the last ad in the Yellowpages that we hadn't tried (which happened to be Withnell Car Rentals), we called them and they had three cars to choose from. Choice numero uno: a PT Cruiser $48 for the day, numero dos: a Dodge Durango $79 for the day, and option numero tres: a Dodge Charger $60 for the day... Most know I love cars, and a 1969 Dodge Charger is my dream car to have, and I also like the new Chargers. I am sure you can infer from this which car I chose. And if you can't here's a picture:
I loved driving this car!!!! It was a 2007 Dodge Charger SXT. I want one so bad I could cry. I didn't want to take it back on Sunday. It was such a smooth ride. There were a couple times where I looked down at the speedometer to find I was doing around 80 MPH! It didn't even feel like it was going that fast.

We went over to the coast and went around the Three Capes Scenic Route, which includes Cape Kiwanda, Cape Lookout, and Cape Meares. We skipped Cape Kiwanda because there were so many effing tourists. We went to Cape Lookout and walked around and took some awesome pictures. Here's a couple:
Then we went up to Cape Meares, and saw the Octopus Tree.
Then we got back on highway 101 and headed south. We really had no clue where we were headed. After we passed Depoe Bay we pulled over into the little state park just north of Cape Foulweather (I think it's called Rocky Creek State Park...) and took some more pictures and figured out where to go from there. These are a couple of my favorite pictures:
I call this one the "Holy Seagull".
We then went to Safeway in Newport and then went back north to swing by my dad's and show him and my sister the car. On our way through Lincoln City the sun was starting to set and I took this amazing picture.

(that blogger isn't letting me upload so you will have to go check it out on myspace, I'll caption it awesome pic I wanted on my blog)

There are a ton of other pictures on my Myspace page, so check them out.

It was an awesomely unforgettable day. It definitely one of the top ten of my all time best days.

Now I am going to check my email and see if anyone has responded to the ad about Ethel.

Way Too Much Crap Has Happened Today For Me To Want To Fist You In The Ass

Okay, so I have really REALLY wanted to blog about what we did this weekend, but I haven't been able to edit the photos (I forgive you honey, I know you just wanted to be helpful) and I don't feel I could do the awesomeness that was this weekend justice without them. This will mostly be a quick little blurb about the shitiness that was Tuesday... Well I guess in the end it wasn't too shitty. You'll read what I mean.

Yesterday afternoon, about a quarter after four I get a call from Collin. He proceeds to tell me how the engine of the Nissan is spraying oil from a hole (pretty fan-FUCKING-tastic, right?). I asked him if he could make it home, he said yea. So then, being the person that I am, my mind starts running the gambit on all of our options. There's no way in hell we can afford to get it fixed (my money is on it having finally blown the head gasket), so obviously it's time to get rid of Ethel. What are we gonna do for another car until we get Ethel sold and can find a way to get another car? I know the obvious answer, and I didn't care for it much: Going to his parents to help us get a car (I know they would but I don't like having to get help from others, especially not them given everything they have already done for us)... Then my mind starts digging for alternatives... *ding ding ding* We have a winner! Joshua, the only person in this world I know that owns a car but has no license to drive it!! (As much crap as I gave him for not having a license I thank god that he doesn't yet.) I call him up and explain my dilemma, and being the amazingly awesome sibling that he is, he says we can use his car until we figure something out (it is after all just sitting at my dad's with expired tags, they expired June 13 of this year), we just have to insure it and put tags on it. So we take the Nissan off our insurance and then put his car on (it's a 1991 Ford Tempo w00t!) and then take off to my dad's to pick up the car. It had been sitting for about three to four months so I planned on having to jump it, but it started up without having to do so. We said goodbye to my dad, Jenn and Jordan (who says that next time I come over I have to bring him a candy bar), and drove our somewhat relieved but completely exhausted asses home. We ordered pizza for dinner (awesome idea honey, there was no way in hell I was gonna cook!) and then I went about seeing how I can get the tags renewed for his car without needing him there. Well, in Oregon, you can now renew the registration online for up to 75 days after they expire. As I mentioned before, I was exhausted so I tried to do the math in my head and I somehow came up with it being 77 days since the tags expired. "Well shit!" I thought... I redid the math this morning after having rested my poor brain, and realized that TODAY was day 75!! So I called my little brother and got the renewal access code from him (he had the renewal form), and went online and renewed the tags, paid with my visa and now they will be mailed today to my dad's house. Now I just need to call him and let him know to mail me the tags as soon as they get there. I will prolly have them by Friday or Saturday. So yeah, it's been fun, now I am going to eat my lunch. And, I promise, tonight I will get the pics up from this weekend.

I Hope The Neighbors Didn't Hear...

These are snippets from various conversations we've had recently. Me=pink Collin=blue. This will pretty much explain why we are in our now into our fourth year of marriage, yet still act like we just got together (and I mean that in a good way!). Enjoy!

I'm gonna throw a two year old style tantrum!!

Fine, you throw a tantrum and I'll do to you what I do to all two year old tantrum throwers.

And what is that?

I kick them in the balls.

You don't do that to two year olds.

Wanna make a bet?

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Don't start freaking out and punching him in the face.

Should I try your method? What is it again? Flailing your arms around in front of you?

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The hobbits are getting faster.

You heard them too?

Yeah.

I think they got mini bikes... Little bastards.

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Okay, so yeah. We are awesome. I think we might go do something completely unplanned today. Of course if I am telling you about us maybe doing something then I guess it's not entirely unplanned... We'll see. Peace!