I want to start this post by thanking all my wonderful friends, family, and readers. I was pleasantly shocked this morning when I logged on to my blog and saw that I have had over 40 page views just today! That's a big jump from the average 10-15 right after I share a new post. This is kind of exciting.
So, I am going to give this a whirl.
Some of my regular readers may notice that there will soon be ads on my blog. My application is awaiting approval so that I can really start making my blog work for me. Then I can start generating a little extra income and also do something I love. Tell stories.
I find myself on another plateau since reaching my pre-pregnancy weight and getting beneath it. I am in flux, needling between the two weights. I know if I can just change one tiny thing I can kick start the drop again. I just need to figure out what the tiny thing is.... I might need to start going back to a more veg heavy diet. I have been admittedly lax on that as I reflect on what I have been eating. In this case it really isn't the caloric side that's getting me so much as the what.
Don't get me wrong. I haven't gone all dark side with my snacking. I mostly find that I am not eating things I was eating a few months ago when my weight finally started dropping off again. It's my fault, and I can totally accept the responsibility. I have been snacking on stuff that we have bought for Emma to snack on; like graham crackers, animal crackers and such. For her these things are fine because she eats like two animal crackers and is done. Me, yea, I can ingest more than that. I also keep catching myself having post dinner snacks of cereal. Bad habits die hard.
What this teaches me? I need to remember to stock up on the veggies snacks, and if I am TRULY hungry that's what I need to be eating. And don't misread. I have no intention of starving myself. I just really, REALLY need to focus on the getting back on the more healthy train.
I don't do diets, or special programs, or pills. It has to be something I can do on my own or it will never become a lifestyle. I recognize that I have slipped this past ten months, and I can see now why it gets hard for some people to maintain otherwise healthy lifestyles while adjusting to having a child. Not an excuse, so don't read it as one. Just a matter of a new life lesson learned. Having a kid is all the more reason to get on track and stay there.
And, of course, as I type this someone is like, "Hey, did you see the doughnuts??" Thank you, but I'll pass.
Right now I am on a mission to get some stuff caught up. My next post is going to be pretty enlightening and informative, so stay tuned!
Friday, October 3, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Waiting and Waiting and the Art of Breaking Hearts
That about sums up where we are at in the home buying process. Our file should be off to the USDA now, but they are working at 31 business days to process a file... So yea. We may or may not hit our closing date on time. I am still hopeful that we will, but it adds a little extra stress because of the ripple effect the uncertainty of WHEN we will move causes. Not only am I juggling when to submit our 30 day notice on our townhouse, but also when to give the daycare their required two weeks written notice of the wee monster's withdrawal from their program.... Oh well. Taking it all in stride; I recognize that this is all stuff that is well out of my control.
Because the next few weeks aren't busy enough on their own with the upcoming move in the next six weeks, I have also added a ton of fun activities because I don't need to sleep. Haha. No, seriously, they are great ways to help pass the time, and I have scheduled out everything left we need to do by the weekends we have left at our rental.
This weekend we have the coast and a dental cleaning for Collin on Saturday. And Sunday (which this will be pretty much all the Sundays to come) we have chores around the house and family visit time with Collin's mom, aunt and sister. We are also working to have a couple visits at his aunt's house because she has agreed to watch the little one on moving day, and we want her house to feel comfortable and familiar.
Next weekend I have my high risk driver's class from 9am until 5:30pm. This is what I must do for the diversion program to keep my speeding ticket from August off my record. That and the $160 presumptive fine I had to pay. While I'm enjoying that, Collin will be enjoying a day with our daughter, including taking her to get her flu shot. I have mixed feelings about flu shots, more so than any other vaccination (which I am totally for as it helps prevent common diseases). I think, like all her vaccinations prior, she will be fine. My hopes are that it will do what it is supposed to, we won't get sick from her being a potential carrier, and that she won't have any icky side effects after the shot. I've heard that some people might feel bleh for a couple weeks after the shot. We shall see.
The weekend after that will be an early Thanksgiving with my paternal extended family. I am excited to see everyone, and for everyone to meet my tiny human. It'll be interesting to hear who she looks more like from my side of the family. We always get mixed reactions because she looks soooo much like both of us.
And then we come to the weekend before Halloween, which we will be going to the company Halloween party. Should be fun.
And then somehow we land at the first of November and it's a trip to the coast and sometime in the weeks following we will be moving... It will probably zip by, and I plan to enjoy every second I can.
Lately at work I feel like I am crushing my sales guys and my customers with bad news. Delayed products, and such... I've learned to do it in a way that isn't too painful, but it still makes me a little sad. And then I remember it's all out of my control and I can only do what I do, and then I laugh and go running over the lawn chasing the Canada geese that hang out here....
Okay, maybe I don't do the lawn and the chasing, but still.
More and more lately I find myself fantasizing about not doing this job any more and doing what I love. Then I remember that I need my salary until I can match it doing what I love. And to do that I need to finish a degree and establish myself, unless I can finagle something with my current company. I just know that customer service is a wretched business and as much as I love it and am amazing at it, it is killing my faith in humanity just as quickly as commuting is. Oh, well. I know it is not forever, but as thirty hides just around the corner is seems like it has been, and could continue to be.
If I could figure out how people make money blogging, I would do that, but to find that niche and get a massive following seems so daunting. I'd rather be using my time when the kiddo is in bed gaming for stress relief, but even that isn't happening right now as we prepare to move. I barely even manage to get a run in unless it's on the weekend.
Unless I give up sleeping I feel like I am never going to find time to do all the me things I want to do; school, running, gaming, art. This is partially fine, because I'd rather spend every waking moment when troublemaker is up playing with her. She is more interesting and entertaining to me than anything. And might I add she is also the best stress reliever. Her goofy smile melts away every stress in my mind.
I don't even know where this post has got to at this point. All I know is that I have a dream, and though it is not nearly as grand as dreamers before me, it is mine. That said, if you want to help me live mine, share this blog, with anyone you think would get the slightest amusement or advice out of it.
Seriously, I will send you a personalized valentine card if you share my blog and help me build my following.
marriedwithacat.blogspot.com share it....
No pressure. Just know I'd help you live your dream if I could. ;-)
Because the next few weeks aren't busy enough on their own with the upcoming move in the next six weeks, I have also added a ton of fun activities because I don't need to sleep. Haha. No, seriously, they are great ways to help pass the time, and I have scheduled out everything left we need to do by the weekends we have left at our rental.
This weekend we have the coast and a dental cleaning for Collin on Saturday. And Sunday (which this will be pretty much all the Sundays to come) we have chores around the house and family visit time with Collin's mom, aunt and sister. We are also working to have a couple visits at his aunt's house because she has agreed to watch the little one on moving day, and we want her house to feel comfortable and familiar.
Next weekend I have my high risk driver's class from 9am until 5:30pm. This is what I must do for the diversion program to keep my speeding ticket from August off my record. That and the $160 presumptive fine I had to pay. While I'm enjoying that, Collin will be enjoying a day with our daughter, including taking her to get her flu shot. I have mixed feelings about flu shots, more so than any other vaccination (which I am totally for as it helps prevent common diseases). I think, like all her vaccinations prior, she will be fine. My hopes are that it will do what it is supposed to, we won't get sick from her being a potential carrier, and that she won't have any icky side effects after the shot. I've heard that some people might feel bleh for a couple weeks after the shot. We shall see.
The weekend after that will be an early Thanksgiving with my paternal extended family. I am excited to see everyone, and for everyone to meet my tiny human. It'll be interesting to hear who she looks more like from my side of the family. We always get mixed reactions because she looks soooo much like both of us.
And then we come to the weekend before Halloween, which we will be going to the company Halloween party. Should be fun.
And then somehow we land at the first of November and it's a trip to the coast and sometime in the weeks following we will be moving... It will probably zip by, and I plan to enjoy every second I can.
Lately at work I feel like I am crushing my sales guys and my customers with bad news. Delayed products, and such... I've learned to do it in a way that isn't too painful, but it still makes me a little sad. And then I remember it's all out of my control and I can only do what I do, and then I laugh and go running over the lawn chasing the Canada geese that hang out here....
Okay, maybe I don't do the lawn and the chasing, but still.
More and more lately I find myself fantasizing about not doing this job any more and doing what I love. Then I remember that I need my salary until I can match it doing what I love. And to do that I need to finish a degree and establish myself, unless I can finagle something with my current company. I just know that customer service is a wretched business and as much as I love it and am amazing at it, it is killing my faith in humanity just as quickly as commuting is. Oh, well. I know it is not forever, but as thirty hides just around the corner is seems like it has been, and could continue to be.
If I could figure out how people make money blogging, I would do that, but to find that niche and get a massive following seems so daunting. I'd rather be using my time when the kiddo is in bed gaming for stress relief, but even that isn't happening right now as we prepare to move. I barely even manage to get a run in unless it's on the weekend.
Unless I give up sleeping I feel like I am never going to find time to do all the me things I want to do; school, running, gaming, art. This is partially fine, because I'd rather spend every waking moment when troublemaker is up playing with her. She is more interesting and entertaining to me than anything. And might I add she is also the best stress reliever. Her goofy smile melts away every stress in my mind.
I don't even know where this post has got to at this point. All I know is that I have a dream, and though it is not nearly as grand as dreamers before me, it is mine. That said, if you want to help me live mine, share this blog, with anyone you think would get the slightest amusement or advice out of it.
Seriously, I will send you a personalized valentine card if you share my blog and help me build my following.
marriedwithacat.blogspot.com share it....
No pressure. Just know I'd help you live your dream if I could. ;-)
Thursday, September 25, 2014
I Wish I Liked Bananas
But I don't. I like them in stuff, and have even tried to eat them sliced up in cereal. It just doesn't work for me. The texture kills me every time.
But enough about bananas. Let's talk underwriters.
In the mundane and tedious process of buying our first home, all of our paperwork went to the underwriter this week. And one thing, ONE THING, came up as a flag. The fact that the ending balance on a bank statement that we submitted didn't line up with the starting balance on the activity printout we sent showing from the last date on the statement to when our earnest money cleared our account. I'm just going to use examples of the numbers here, this doesn't reflect any actual balances in my accounts (sorry, that's just a little too personal for me; just imagine I am completely wealthy...).
So the ending balance at close of business on August 4th was $2,200. The beginning balance of the activity log at the start of business on August 4th was $4,000. Now, can you note the key differences in the two prior statements? Oh, good, if you can than you might want to consider becoming an underwriter, because I had to explain and high light WHERE the discrepancy DID NOT exist. See on the statement, if you went back to August 1 there was the balance of $4,000. All the transactions from the first on were after close of business that day, so on my account activity they didn't post until opening on the fourth. You still with me? Good. So on the activity if you go to the last transaction posted on the fourth you see the closing balance on the statement. The "discrepancy" wasn't a discrepancy, merely an over lapping of data.
I took it all in stride and was laughing the whole way, but at the same time there was a voice in my head saying, "Um, shouldn't the underwriter who is supposed to be investigating the validity of the info supplied for our mortgage be able to figure this shit out?" We were being asked to provide proof of extra deposits beyond payroll... Luckily after sending highlighted snippets to illustrate the non existent discrepancy we were fine...
Seriously, though...
I try not to stress over things that aren't dire issues.
In case you follow astrology, planetary alignment and such, Mercury Retrograde is in effect October 4th through the 25th. The shit storm phase before the start when Mercury goes stationary has started. So take a breath, count to ten, and be patient with others. This is a thing, Google it. "Mercury Retrograde" happens when Mercury's orbit is essentially in reverse compared to ours. It typically happens two to three times per calendar year, and is said to effect communication, and electronic/mechanical devices.
Now, I am going to try and find out what "life altering" thing my sister wanted from me yesterday, and then never called.... Yea, if you are reading this, just message me.
But enough about bananas. Let's talk underwriters.
In the mundane and tedious process of buying our first home, all of our paperwork went to the underwriter this week. And one thing, ONE THING, came up as a flag. The fact that the ending balance on a bank statement that we submitted didn't line up with the starting balance on the activity printout we sent showing from the last date on the statement to when our earnest money cleared our account. I'm just going to use examples of the numbers here, this doesn't reflect any actual balances in my accounts (sorry, that's just a little too personal for me; just imagine I am completely wealthy...).
So the ending balance at close of business on August 4th was $2,200. The beginning balance of the activity log at the start of business on August 4th was $4,000. Now, can you note the key differences in the two prior statements? Oh, good, if you can than you might want to consider becoming an underwriter, because I had to explain and high light WHERE the discrepancy DID NOT exist. See on the statement, if you went back to August 1 there was the balance of $4,000. All the transactions from the first on were after close of business that day, so on my account activity they didn't post until opening on the fourth. You still with me? Good. So on the activity if you go to the last transaction posted on the fourth you see the closing balance on the statement. The "discrepancy" wasn't a discrepancy, merely an over lapping of data.
I took it all in stride and was laughing the whole way, but at the same time there was a voice in my head saying, "Um, shouldn't the underwriter who is supposed to be investigating the validity of the info supplied for our mortgage be able to figure this shit out?" We were being asked to provide proof of extra deposits beyond payroll... Luckily after sending highlighted snippets to illustrate the non existent discrepancy we were fine...
Seriously, though...
I try not to stress over things that aren't dire issues.
In case you follow astrology, planetary alignment and such, Mercury Retrograde is in effect October 4th through the 25th. The shit storm phase before the start when Mercury goes stationary has started. So take a breath, count to ten, and be patient with others. This is a thing, Google it. "Mercury Retrograde" happens when Mercury's orbit is essentially in reverse compared to ours. It typically happens two to three times per calendar year, and is said to effect communication, and electronic/mechanical devices.
Now, I am going to try and find out what "life altering" thing my sister wanted from me yesterday, and then never called.... Yea, if you are reading this, just message me.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Hello, Fall!
Oh, how I have missed you and your lovely unpredictable weather. Don't tell the other's but you will always be my favorite!
I truly wish I could express how happy I am for this season to be here. My favorite holiday is fast approaching. Halloween! And OMG I am completely geeking out over how awesome our costumes will be this year.
My plan, as long as the kid(s) will tolerate it, I totally want to do family costumes. This year will be the first. I know most families have Christmas traditions and such, and I plan on having some of those too, but Halloween will always be my favorite as it has been for years!
Last night I had some very interesting dreams. Or maybe it was all one big epic dream of oddness. Either way, here's the highlight reel:
Someone gave me a magical, black, square ukulele. What its magic powers were? No flipping idea. I just know that someone gave it to me at some seedy looking dive of a motel and it was magical.
K and I were driving in my Subaru on the hill near the mall in LC and saw our friend Kaitlyn walking her dog with her mom.
The wee human climbed out of her crib at nap time because she needed a diaper change. For some reason, wherever we were I had to lay her on a cookie sheet on the stove (it was off) to change her diaper...
And that's it. Those three points are all that I remember of a night of dreams that left me confused and tired.
I think the crib climbing aspect came from the wee one deciding she wants to start standing on her own sans support. I am just glad she figured out how to plop onto her little butt when she loses her balance. Every new thing is a little surprise, and completely amazing. Just the way their minds and abilities develop are astounding. They learn the tiniest thing and then are doing it like a pro in a matter of minutes, hours, or days.
Today is the first day in over three months that I am wearing shoes to work. It feels so weird... For one, I feel significantly taller due to my shoes having three inch heels. For two I will have to change from my heels to my sneakers to go walking.
I've totally lost track of my train. I am going to sip more cider and ponder the credentials needed to be an underwriter. The story on that next time.
I truly wish I could express how happy I am for this season to be here. My favorite holiday is fast approaching. Halloween! And OMG I am completely geeking out over how awesome our costumes will be this year.
My plan, as long as the kid(s) will tolerate it, I totally want to do family costumes. This year will be the first. I know most families have Christmas traditions and such, and I plan on having some of those too, but Halloween will always be my favorite as it has been for years!
Last night I had some very interesting dreams. Or maybe it was all one big epic dream of oddness. Either way, here's the highlight reel:
Someone gave me a magical, black, square ukulele. What its magic powers were? No flipping idea. I just know that someone gave it to me at some seedy looking dive of a motel and it was magical.
K and I were driving in my Subaru on the hill near the mall in LC and saw our friend Kaitlyn walking her dog with her mom.
The wee human climbed out of her crib at nap time because she needed a diaper change. For some reason, wherever we were I had to lay her on a cookie sheet on the stove (it was off) to change her diaper...
And that's it. Those three points are all that I remember of a night of dreams that left me confused and tired.
I think the crib climbing aspect came from the wee one deciding she wants to start standing on her own sans support. I am just glad she figured out how to plop onto her little butt when she loses her balance. Every new thing is a little surprise, and completely amazing. Just the way their minds and abilities develop are astounding. They learn the tiniest thing and then are doing it like a pro in a matter of minutes, hours, or days.
Today is the first day in over three months that I am wearing shoes to work. It feels so weird... For one, I feel significantly taller due to my shoes having three inch heels. For two I will have to change from my heels to my sneakers to go walking.
I've totally lost track of my train. I am going to sip more cider and ponder the credentials needed to be an underwriter. The story on that next time.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Enjoy Your Chili Flavored Death Apple
This morning Collin was mentioning how heavy his lunch bag was.(he carries both our lunches) I told him, jokingly, to drag it behind him like a ball and chain. It was heavier than it has been because I used our glass leftover containers. I also mentioned he could have left his at home, but still bring mine because I want my lunch. He then stated that my lunch was on the bottom, and pantomimed throwing it down and said smash. I said that's fine, it's your bag you're going to make a mess of with broken glass and chili. And then I reminded him that his snacks for the day were in there too. We then discussed the pitfall of eating an apple that potentially had shards of glass in it. Hence the title, I looked at him and said, "Okay, well enjoy your chili flavored death apple." Then we both laughed.
This was the walk from the car to front door of our building at work.
Last night was not a good night for sleep. For some reason we wound up staying up past ten, and then wee one woke up from a bad dream around 1 am. We gave her a bottle and laid her back down. Then the heinous bitch we call a cat decided around 4am it would be fun to climb up in the box spring of our bed and claw at the fabric.... Needless to say, I has a tired today. I am taking comfort in the fact that it is Friday and I am hoping we get to sleep in a bit tomorrow.
This next part will appeal or be better understood by my female readers, so dudes feel free to skip down to the asterisk part if you want. Nothing gross or graphic, just a more female understandable thing.
So I have been feeling super heavy and bloated the last couple days. I knew from last weeks weigh in that I had added a few pounds to where I had been. So that said, and while feeling HUGE this morning, I braved the scale, BUM BUM BUMMMMM! Lo and behold, I was back down to where I was. I guess I just feel puffy. LOL, puffy.
*******************************************
This next part is something that actually shocked me and saddened me greatly. In further proof that American media outlets are war and fear mongers that would rather share heart wrenching and horrific stories, I was deeply disappointed by the lack of coverage on the Referendum Vote that took place in Scotland yesterday, September 18th. I understand the limited impact it has on our nation, but regardless of its passing or failing, I truly feel it was a piece of current events that should have been more publicized. It was history being made. Scotland was considering breaking away from the UK to once again be its own country free from England's influence. Whether good or bad, the fact that it was being considered and voted on was amazing. Scotland has been a part of the UK for over 300 years. Honestly, watching the votes as they were tallied yes or no was more intriguing and exciting than any of our current domestic politics. We're talking about a nation's potential rebirth into independence! But hey, since we weren't militarily involved I guess that's why it didn't matter so much...
Ultimately, the referendum did not pass. The Scots voted, and with an 84.5% voter turnout, opted to remain under the blanket of the UK. I don't know the finer details of why or what sparked this Referendum, but I do know that I plan to learn more of the why and why not.
And now I shall leave you to consider all this and go about my Friday.
This was the walk from the car to front door of our building at work.
Last night was not a good night for sleep. For some reason we wound up staying up past ten, and then wee one woke up from a bad dream around 1 am. We gave her a bottle and laid her back down. Then the heinous bitch we call a cat decided around 4am it would be fun to climb up in the box spring of our bed and claw at the fabric.... Needless to say, I has a tired today. I am taking comfort in the fact that it is Friday and I am hoping we get to sleep in a bit tomorrow.
This next part will appeal or be better understood by my female readers, so dudes feel free to skip down to the asterisk part if you want. Nothing gross or graphic, just a more female understandable thing.
So I have been feeling super heavy and bloated the last couple days. I knew from last weeks weigh in that I had added a few pounds to where I had been. So that said, and while feeling HUGE this morning, I braved the scale, BUM BUM BUMMMMM! Lo and behold, I was back down to where I was. I guess I just feel puffy. LOL, puffy.
*******************************************
This next part is something that actually shocked me and saddened me greatly. In further proof that American media outlets are war and fear mongers that would rather share heart wrenching and horrific stories, I was deeply disappointed by the lack of coverage on the Referendum Vote that took place in Scotland yesterday, September 18th. I understand the limited impact it has on our nation, but regardless of its passing or failing, I truly feel it was a piece of current events that should have been more publicized. It was history being made. Scotland was considering breaking away from the UK to once again be its own country free from England's influence. Whether good or bad, the fact that it was being considered and voted on was amazing. Scotland has been a part of the UK for over 300 years. Honestly, watching the votes as they were tallied yes or no was more intriguing and exciting than any of our current domestic politics. We're talking about a nation's potential rebirth into independence! But hey, since we weren't militarily involved I guess that's why it didn't matter so much...
Ultimately, the referendum did not pass. The Scots voted, and with an 84.5% voter turnout, opted to remain under the blanket of the UK. I don't know the finer details of why or what sparked this Referendum, but I do know that I plan to learn more of the why and why not.
And now I shall leave you to consider all this and go about my Friday.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Because It Never Rains In Oregon
Today, was the first time in a few weeks that it has rained, and oh my goodness, everyone forgot how to drive and there were multiple accidents on our normal route. So we took another one, but seriously? Seriously!? It's flipping Oregon! I could go on and on about this but I have other things I'd rather share.
We are at the end of our mostly gluten free month. No major difference in how we felt or our waistlines, but it was still a fun experiment. There were quite a few recipes that I will adding to our regular repertoire. This month we are just going back to the normal, healthy, veggie filled, low carb stuff we have been doing. Now that I am officially below my pre-pregnancy weight I want to keep it going down.
Now to the task at hand, the thoughts that kept me up last night until my husband got home from his "Man Date" with his bestie.
I find myself nostalgic, reflective, and introspective come the fall season year after year. It's as though my psyche is aware another year end is fast approaching and it is time to take stock of what all has changed. Last night though, I found myself looking beyond the last year or two back to what I feel is the catalyst to getting me here, the happiest time of my life. Not to say it is the easiest time, but most certainly the most joy filled I have ever been. I guess the presence of this tiny human in my life has done that.
But to the thoughts that robbed me of a good hour of extra sleep. Eleven years ago I did something that shaped all that has come since, I moved to Portland. Sometimes I am curious how different life would be if I had stayed in LC or if I had stayed in Portland beyond the four months I was here. I truly believe it would mostly have worked out similarly, but then I don't think I would have found myself and grown the way I have.
I attribute a large part of my personal growth to this period of time. I learned to stand up for myself, and I also learned that making a career of some of my talents could be the death of my passion for them. Beyond my three amazing, yet two-faced roommates in Portland, there was one person who really helped me enjoy my time in Portland. I'm not friends with her and wouldn't have the slightest idea where she is or if she would even remember me.
This is what I do remember:
I remember we had drawing class together, and maybe another class or two. She introduced me to AFI and her complete and undying love for them. I imagine that if she is still in good old Oregon, her and I were probably at the same show back in 2010 for the band. She was from the Bend area. We were so totally different, but amazingly similar. She brought out a person in me I had no idea existed. Sometimes I think the real me could be mean, but in truth I was honest and taking care of me for a change. It is still something I have to work on, the whole saying no but that's not what this is about.
My fondest and funnest memories in Portland are hanging out with her and some other students in their apartment. A late night/early morning adventure to Montage where I had the best mac'n'cheese ever, and my left overs were wrapped into a foil creation; I think it was a rose. Spending midnight on New Years getting ice cream at Safeway and talking to a drunk guy in the champagne/wine aisle. Her huge panel van, that I believe she said her dad gave her.
It was a short but impacting friendship, and the memories are always with me. Hell, thinking about those times also reminded me of other good times with a long lost friend, and the names of my three roommates. It also reminded me that only one of the three was really two faced. There was Alicia from South Dakota, we shared a room; Molly from Ridgefield, she left at the end of fall term (I left after winter break right before the new term started); and Kristina from Moses Lake, who was the two faced one. I stayed in touch with Alicia for a bit, but then as I moved away from MySpace completely lost track of her. I could probably find them, but they are from another world that I no longer live in. They all had their affects though, but none as strong and lasting than Caitlyn (I'm pretty sure that was her name).
The year following this brief interlude with the big city and art school, became one of the most defining for where I am now, and who is in my life. I am so grateful for this period, and what I learned and discovered. Even the negative parts (I occasionally am reminded of these as I look at long forgotten journal entries) I am grateful for because I can reflect on them and know why it was a negative situation, and learn not to let similar things happen in my life.
So, as I reflect on my past triumphs and failures in the coming months as yet another year slips through the sieve of time, I ask anyone who is reading this to reflect on their pasts and remember without them you wouldn't be set for the amazing future ahead of you. Don't dwell on it, but remember it with alacrity and humor. And if you find yourself currently in a rough spot, or down on your luck consider the future and how you want to reflect on whatever you learn from your current situation.
I know that all of my past "character building" moments have primed me for great things, and possibly even greater challenges, but if life were easy where would the fun be in that? You commonly hear the phrase, "The lord moves in mysterious ways." and though I am not a Christian, even I can see the truth in that statement. Whoever or whatever you believe in, even if it is nothing at all, or if you are a nihilist, there is still something unfolding before you based on the choices you make and the people who pass through your life.
Pretty deep, huh? Whether this is read or not, I am glad I have a platform to clear my head of these thoughts. I will leave you with this anecdote:
I look over at Collin and our adorable daughter and notice a spot of liquid in the corner of her mouth. I'm across the room from them and I ask Collin, "Is that drool?"
He responds, "Yea, I think so."
Then he looks again, and feels his shoulder/back. "Nope, not drool." he states.
By this time I am closer and walk around him. There is a glorious trail of spit up running down his left shoulder. I laugh and take the tiny wonder from him so he can run upstairs and change his shirt.
It was minutes before we needed to leave for daycare and work.
I love my life, and laugh at everything I can.
We are at the end of our mostly gluten free month. No major difference in how we felt or our waistlines, but it was still a fun experiment. There were quite a few recipes that I will adding to our regular repertoire. This month we are just going back to the normal, healthy, veggie filled, low carb stuff we have been doing. Now that I am officially below my pre-pregnancy weight I want to keep it going down.
Now to the task at hand, the thoughts that kept me up last night until my husband got home from his "Man Date" with his bestie.
I find myself nostalgic, reflective, and introspective come the fall season year after year. It's as though my psyche is aware another year end is fast approaching and it is time to take stock of what all has changed. Last night though, I found myself looking beyond the last year or two back to what I feel is the catalyst to getting me here, the happiest time of my life. Not to say it is the easiest time, but most certainly the most joy filled I have ever been. I guess the presence of this tiny human in my life has done that.
But to the thoughts that robbed me of a good hour of extra sleep. Eleven years ago I did something that shaped all that has come since, I moved to Portland. Sometimes I am curious how different life would be if I had stayed in LC or if I had stayed in Portland beyond the four months I was here. I truly believe it would mostly have worked out similarly, but then I don't think I would have found myself and grown the way I have.
I attribute a large part of my personal growth to this period of time. I learned to stand up for myself, and I also learned that making a career of some of my talents could be the death of my passion for them. Beyond my three amazing, yet two-faced roommates in Portland, there was one person who really helped me enjoy my time in Portland. I'm not friends with her and wouldn't have the slightest idea where she is or if she would even remember me.
This is what I do remember:
I remember we had drawing class together, and maybe another class or two. She introduced me to AFI and her complete and undying love for them. I imagine that if she is still in good old Oregon, her and I were probably at the same show back in 2010 for the band. She was from the Bend area. We were so totally different, but amazingly similar. She brought out a person in me I had no idea existed. Sometimes I think the real me could be mean, but in truth I was honest and taking care of me for a change. It is still something I have to work on, the whole saying no but that's not what this is about.
My fondest and funnest memories in Portland are hanging out with her and some other students in their apartment. A late night/early morning adventure to Montage where I had the best mac'n'cheese ever, and my left overs were wrapped into a foil creation; I think it was a rose. Spending midnight on New Years getting ice cream at Safeway and talking to a drunk guy in the champagne/wine aisle. Her huge panel van, that I believe she said her dad gave her.
It was a short but impacting friendship, and the memories are always with me. Hell, thinking about those times also reminded me of other good times with a long lost friend, and the names of my three roommates. It also reminded me that only one of the three was really two faced. There was Alicia from South Dakota, we shared a room; Molly from Ridgefield, she left at the end of fall term (I left after winter break right before the new term started); and Kristina from Moses Lake, who was the two faced one. I stayed in touch with Alicia for a bit, but then as I moved away from MySpace completely lost track of her. I could probably find them, but they are from another world that I no longer live in. They all had their affects though, but none as strong and lasting than Caitlyn (I'm pretty sure that was her name).
The year following this brief interlude with the big city and art school, became one of the most defining for where I am now, and who is in my life. I am so grateful for this period, and what I learned and discovered. Even the negative parts (I occasionally am reminded of these as I look at long forgotten journal entries) I am grateful for because I can reflect on them and know why it was a negative situation, and learn not to let similar things happen in my life.
So, as I reflect on my past triumphs and failures in the coming months as yet another year slips through the sieve of time, I ask anyone who is reading this to reflect on their pasts and remember without them you wouldn't be set for the amazing future ahead of you. Don't dwell on it, but remember it with alacrity and humor. And if you find yourself currently in a rough spot, or down on your luck consider the future and how you want to reflect on whatever you learn from your current situation.
I know that all of my past "character building" moments have primed me for great things, and possibly even greater challenges, but if life were easy where would the fun be in that? You commonly hear the phrase, "The lord moves in mysterious ways." and though I am not a Christian, even I can see the truth in that statement. Whoever or whatever you believe in, even if it is nothing at all, or if you are a nihilist, there is still something unfolding before you based on the choices you make and the people who pass through your life.
Pretty deep, huh? Whether this is read or not, I am glad I have a platform to clear my head of these thoughts. I will leave you with this anecdote:
I look over at Collin and our adorable daughter and notice a spot of liquid in the corner of her mouth. I'm across the room from them and I ask Collin, "Is that drool?"
He responds, "Yea, I think so."
Then he looks again, and feels his shoulder/back. "Nope, not drool." he states.
By this time I am closer and walk around him. There is a glorious trail of spit up running down his left shoulder. I laugh and take the tiny wonder from him so he can run upstairs and change his shirt.
It was minutes before we needed to leave for daycare and work.
I love my life, and laugh at everything I can.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Repeated Failure And I Still Want More
I think I have three posts sitting in limbo that I started and then lost the mojo on. The last couple weeks have been a tumultuous whirl wind of events. So much so my time has become blurred and the linear progression skewed. This is where we are and here is how we got here:
We put an offer on our first house on the 12th, it was countered with a different closing date on the 13th, and mutually accepted upon inspection on the 14th. Crazy, right?
The tiny human contracted a stomach bug and woke us up between the 16th and 17th vomiting in her crib... Like everywhere. All over herself, even the top of her head and there were puddles in her crib. The little freak never had a fever. After a while of vomiting and dry heaving, despite having an appetite, we took her in just to be safe. Doc said something viral and gave her nausea meds. She was only allowed pedialyte for about six hours after that and then was A-Okay.
Two days later (and two days before our two days off for our anniversary), Collin and I both got it. It was wretched, and I will leave you with that. To all the future mommies and daddies no one truly warns you about all the lovely bugs you get when your kid is in daycare.
Luckily we were all better within 24 hours. Our home inspection was Thursday, our 9th anniversary. The inspection was surprisingly flawless. The only issues are cosmetic save the smoke detectors/lack thereof, which the sellers agent agreed to remedy. The deck that we plan to demo has some rot and was poorly constructed. The upside is that the original poured concrete patio and steps are still there! Also need to replace some weather stripping, but come on, I can do that in my sleep.
Friday, the 22nd, we toured a daycare near the new house, and fell in love with it. The program is practically identical to the one she is in, and the rooms are so much bigger. Plus they have an indoor gym since it rains her 90% of the time. From there we had a quick visit with Collin's grandma and wee one's namesake before heading south to visit my soon to be 17 year old niece. We had a lovely visit with her and my sister's bio grandma.
Um, I know we did stuff, but I can't remember the rest of the weekend...
Then came Monday. I think the only thing I can remember was the little bumps that started to pop up on the tiny human's knees. Like a heat rash, but something told me it may have been more. Sure enough an hour and a half after the workday started I had to pick her up from daycare and take her home. They had another outbreak of Hand Foot and Mouth at her stinking daycare... This is the second one since she has been there... Mind you she is almost nine months old and only been there since she was two months old.... The new daycare hasn't had an outbreak for a couple years. It is fairly common in children under five, and very similar to chicken pox in how contagious it is. Luckily the little booger never had any severe symptoms or a fever. I got to work from home with her crawling all over me. Yea, it was exhausting. I finally got to come back to work on the 28th...
Ah, and now we are at labor day weekend! Which was the last three days!
Saturday.... Um... What did we do?
Oh yea, we spent a large chunk of the day driving around Collin's hometown trying to find his asshat dad, since no one in the family has seen or heard from him in MONTHS. One of Collin's high school pals saw him last week which is what sparked the idea to try and find him. We were starting to think he was dead or gone. No idea if he lives at the house or not. It is so overgrown...
Sunday we went to the coast and spent some time with my bestie and my dad.
Yesterday, we went to visit Collin's mom. She was recently moved into a better nursing home that can better care for her and her waning health. She seemed fairly lucid. At least that's what I want to believe. She seemed to know us (dementia/Alzheimer's), and didn't seem disturbed by us calling her mom or referring to her as grandma. She smiled and kept telling us how cute little monster is, and such. But, as most know, those diseases and her extremely brittle diabetes, there are extremely good and bad days.
Today I work.
Tomorrow I work.
But such is life. (I still have to work the two days after but I didn't want to get to monotonous)
Peace, Love, and strawberry jelly.
We put an offer on our first house on the 12th, it was countered with a different closing date on the 13th, and mutually accepted upon inspection on the 14th. Crazy, right?
The tiny human contracted a stomach bug and woke us up between the 16th and 17th vomiting in her crib... Like everywhere. All over herself, even the top of her head and there were puddles in her crib. The little freak never had a fever. After a while of vomiting and dry heaving, despite having an appetite, we took her in just to be safe. Doc said something viral and gave her nausea meds. She was only allowed pedialyte for about six hours after that and then was A-Okay.
Two days later (and two days before our two days off for our anniversary), Collin and I both got it. It was wretched, and I will leave you with that. To all the future mommies and daddies no one truly warns you about all the lovely bugs you get when your kid is in daycare.
Luckily we were all better within 24 hours. Our home inspection was Thursday, our 9th anniversary. The inspection was surprisingly flawless. The only issues are cosmetic save the smoke detectors/lack thereof, which the sellers agent agreed to remedy. The deck that we plan to demo has some rot and was poorly constructed. The upside is that the original poured concrete patio and steps are still there! Also need to replace some weather stripping, but come on, I can do that in my sleep.
Friday, the 22nd, we toured a daycare near the new house, and fell in love with it. The program is practically identical to the one she is in, and the rooms are so much bigger. Plus they have an indoor gym since it rains her 90% of the time. From there we had a quick visit with Collin's grandma and wee one's namesake before heading south to visit my soon to be 17 year old niece. We had a lovely visit with her and my sister's bio grandma.
Um, I know we did stuff, but I can't remember the rest of the weekend...
Then came Monday. I think the only thing I can remember was the little bumps that started to pop up on the tiny human's knees. Like a heat rash, but something told me it may have been more. Sure enough an hour and a half after the workday started I had to pick her up from daycare and take her home. They had another outbreak of Hand Foot and Mouth at her stinking daycare... This is the second one since she has been there... Mind you she is almost nine months old and only been there since she was two months old.... The new daycare hasn't had an outbreak for a couple years. It is fairly common in children under five, and very similar to chicken pox in how contagious it is. Luckily the little booger never had any severe symptoms or a fever. I got to work from home with her crawling all over me. Yea, it was exhausting. I finally got to come back to work on the 28th...
Ah, and now we are at labor day weekend! Which was the last three days!
Saturday.... Um... What did we do?
Oh yea, we spent a large chunk of the day driving around Collin's hometown trying to find his asshat dad, since no one in the family has seen or heard from him in MONTHS. One of Collin's high school pals saw him last week which is what sparked the idea to try and find him. We were starting to think he was dead or gone. No idea if he lives at the house or not. It is so overgrown...
Sunday we went to the coast and spent some time with my bestie and my dad.
Yesterday, we went to visit Collin's mom. She was recently moved into a better nursing home that can better care for her and her waning health. She seemed fairly lucid. At least that's what I want to believe. She seemed to know us (dementia/Alzheimer's), and didn't seem disturbed by us calling her mom or referring to her as grandma. She smiled and kept telling us how cute little monster is, and such. But, as most know, those diseases and her extremely brittle diabetes, there are extremely good and bad days.
Today I work.
Tomorrow I work.
But such is life. (I still have to work the two days after but I didn't want to get to monotonous)
Peace, Love, and strawberry jelly.
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